Not sure wtf is going on upstairs, but it seems like the majority of my dreams in the past few months have been night mare themed. ??? ugh.
1) Harsh break up situation
I lived with Psy, the apartment wasn't the same as waking though. It had wide closets that werent very deep. The carpet was blue. The doors of the closets were a cheesy wood grain, that looked like fake laminate.
I got there and instantly sighed at the ugly doors. There was stuff everywhere. I had just gotten home from a trip (waking relevance). Psy was unattentive and was watching TV or something.
I reorganized the whole closet. Made sections and realized there could be room for a shelf. It was very spacious in a way but also not. The house was cluttered.
He kept leaving trails of things behind him. Food, and a mess of whatever stuff he was dealing with.
"Im going to a Tool concert tonight" he said casually.
I'd just gotten home. I figured he might actually want to spend time with me but I was disproven.
I flipped my lid. "You need to move out." I told him. "Im tired of cleaning up after you, and our lives are going in completely opposite directions. Partying isn't the bane of my existence. I want to follow a more intellectual and grounded path. Theres nothing wrong with what youre doing, I just cant tolerate it in such a close vacinity anymore. Get out."
Passively, he didnt try to argue what I said and got ready for his show. Suddenly his Mom and sister were also in our apartment, and I was still super anxious inside, pretty solid about my decision. It was so tense in there you could have cut it with a knife.
His Mom was gathering a few of his things, and he was talking to his sister outside the front door. Im not sure if his father was present but Im sure his brother wasnt. he had his coat and backpack on and was standing outside the front door. I wanted to peak my head out and say goodbye at least, but he didnt seem to care. His back was turned on me so as I approached the door I changed my mind.
Alone in the house I felt super anxious, upset and let down. I was pacing feverously.
I woke up from this dream and still felt insanely shitty. Like the breakup had happened. Even though it hasnt, I still feel like shit hours later. I feel like the facts in the dream arent too far from true, although a lot of them are too... I dont know. ah
I did actually see a shot of Tool performing. Only they were all wearing long, dark, strange wigs and had a loooot of energy. I studied the guitarist and Maynard. The stage was small. This seems like only a passing thought now.
I made my self go back to sleep to recover from this shitty feeling and I had a second dream.
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2) Dark Nights of Dark Lights
Everything that was illuminated in this dream was still dark.
I was on the 2nd floor of somewhere.... it seemed like a dank chamber of a building, super old and falling apart slightly. There was a party going on. It was kind of bright in there at first and then it got darker and darker. There were two people in this elevated booth, one playing with a Midi controller it seemed. Two younger white guys.
There was a clear glass of sprite getting passed around in the crowd from the performers. I took a sip. There was something special about it but I dont remember. I texted someone to let them know. I think it was Ashton.
I was with a few friends, none of them close. I left this bar to go get some food.
I went to what I think was our apartment, (me and those buddies) and went into a communal shitty kitchen of some kind. I felt a stinging on my right foot. I didnt want to look down, cause the pain was sharp, and I already knew I wasnt going to like waht I was going to see.
I sucked the pain in by biting my lips really hard, then looked down to see a tiny mouse. I picked it up with my right hand, and it bit my hand twice too. I discarded the mouse then, and dont remember how.
Later I was in a Wendys of some kind, I could see the huge sign from outside the elevated kitchen window. It felt like I was in 8 mile or something. Me and my friends ordered this Junior Bacon Chicken burger for $1.07. I was astonished. I felt shitty for eating it, I knew I shouldnt be eating it. I paid in exact change to a smaller old lady. I enjoyed my disgusting piece of almost-food. I didnt get any fries but my friends did.
Then we were back on the streets. It seemed like there was this back alley, filled with Muslims . Their heads were wrapped in white turbans, these men had almost their whole faces covered except their eyes (strange). It was like they were sitting at a bar, only the bar was outside in the rain. They lined a bar table on high chairs. The alley was completely filthy. It had dirty tampons lining it, needles, every kind of garbage you could imagine. It was raining hard so it made the garbage all sludgy and even grosser. I felt ashamed that one day I might have to bring my parents through here to see my home. I had never noticed the gross ness of East Vancouver to this extent until I actually started to live here.
I walked alone and therefore all the men stared at me and muttered things as I walked by. I felt mildly unsafe but kept walking.
Walked past Wendys again and saw Ashton and his group of male comrades laughing in there. I yearned to hang out with him but also was indifferent and kept walking.
In an open rainy parking lot I caught up to a couple of friends, one a girl (dont recall). Mike Burke showed up, wearing a Palestinian scarf (green.) Whats up? He asked like it aint know thing. I just kind of gave him the cold shoulder and walked away. My girl asked me why I was like that towards him, and I told her, "Im not going to be super nice to him the moment he acknowledges me. You have no idea the things that guy has put me through."
We trotted down the rainy streets.
Suddenly I was in my dad's car, getting dropped of at a taxi in a side street. It was open, like it was lining a field or something. Everything was lit with white light, and soaked. It was abit chaotic getting out of the car. "Be careful" he said or something. I thanked him and got out.
It was like all these dark, brown men were instantly allies with me because I am too. There was an unspoken respect that they had for me that they didnt show others. I was trying to get back to the show, only this time it was like, on a triple decker bus. I had to go past a few men and up these super narrow spiral stair cases.
I dont remember getting back to the party.
