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over 13 years ago
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felt
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white
2010
so you want to be a dreamer huh.....

Lets just start with the giant mansion that I was in. Under construction. Dark. Dark energy. It had the feeling of a high end hotel for rich people. There was a Mafia type rich guy named Tony that my dad was indebted to. He was short and intense. His eyes were sketchy. He was very rich and sheik, but his character seemed trashy. I was with him in the hallway. It was dark. He was showing me his old mid-evil knights armor suit, with the 20 foot long spear for jousting. He had had all the edges of the suit sharpened to razor sharp. I felt uncomfortable around him because he felt dangerous. My dad had a meeting with him, so i felt i had to leave quickly.
As I was leaving, I saw my dad fly across the air down from above and land on a dusty mattress. He was on a renegade mission for justice!. He was carrying a large black and white chainsaw. There were two of Tony's affiliates in between my dad and Tony. In a swooping ninja move, my dad sawed them both in half with the chain saw and spun around and decapitated another one. Their chopped-in-half bodies slid across the floor and landed in front of me. The gushing blood coming out of them made a guzzling sound like milk being poured out of a gallon jug. I decided to run to the top floor of the mansion to escape further drama.
Dark. My mom was up there, and i snuggled with her. Still dark as the scene changed. My sister and I were cuddling watching TV. Her new baby was there. She left and went somewhere. It felt like some irresponsible move of a new single mom going out and partying while the baby was left home un-cared for. She returned. and she started crying. I asked why?, and she said she had just gone out and killed the father of the baby. I started crying and comforted her, because it all felt very cold and lost and alone. I cuddled with the baby boy. I lifted him up to see him. He was in his blanket. As I lifted him, his blanket changed into a glass cylinder filled with water that he was inside of. I was holding him, and watching the water drain down so he could breathe. He seemed like he could still breathe underwater. As we were holding him, i noticed his penis was very long. My sister said it was because he was un-circumcised. His genital area was bizarre. It looked like a part-slug anatomy that was not human. I fixed some food for the baby. Small white alligators that were fried up like shrimp. You had to take the teeth out before eating. I ate the head. They tasted salty and crunchy like shrimp.
There was also a scene where we were taking abalone shells out of the ocean. I was holding this creature that was like a crab crossed with an abalone. It was still alive and i had already committed to taking it out of the sea. I thought this was just going to be fun like collecting sea shells, but now the guy on the boat was saying "its too late, you have to finish him off"!! I was shocked and hurt. But I took the stick and bashed the poor little creatures head in. This was extremely traumatizing for me. It felt like some native initiation of hunting food that felt entirely brutal and terrible to me. I could never do it again after feeling what the creature felt. The little creature had a sad distressed look in its eyes as it struggled to find its way out of this nightmare that I was innocently but fatally a part of...

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