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Cloud Nirvana and The Giant Caracol in the Sky

I had a dream that I was back in the Sonoran desert of Mexico, and rather than being in my body or even in human form, I was embodied as the clouds breathing warm in the sun, a conscious breathing dissipation of vapor. Nirvana. I woke up with a smile on my face and subconsciously felt that I had been smiling for the entire time I was dreaming. My lover turned to me and asked me where I had gone in an overtly jealous tone, asked if I had gone back to Mexico. He said that he had been watching me sleep and that I had appeared to be in total ecstasy all night long....and I knew that he must have known from my sleeping face that I was no longer with him anymore.

It's true, I had fallen in love with the peace that I had found in the desert. Ironically, when I was there I was overcome with the feeling of total abundance and harmony. I imagined dedicating one day of every week back home to running around spreading the news of abundance to every person I came across, as my ecstatic duty. Even in the desert life is sustained so long as the universal laws are respected. In the mornings fog cools and caresses the entire landscape. With increased volatility due to the moisture, the plants give off a very strong, incense-like aroma. The peyote clings to its friend and protector, the gobernadora, a small plant that gives shelter to many cacti and other desert plants, hence its title as the "governor" of the desert. I was on a journey in the desert to find the sacred peyote and to forget my name. The man who took me there had told me that in the desert one could forget their own name completely. I am not sure if that actually happened or not....but what did happen.....was more extraordinary than anything I ever remember dreaming of.

At sunset one evening we saluted the sun, the four directions, the Pachamama, and the Universe with the cry of the caracol (conch shell.) The mescalito definitely intensified the colors of dusk. I felt extremely reverent toward the sun. And the cry of the caracol seemed as intense as the cry of my own longings. I put all the breath I could give into my salute. And then I watched as a wake pushed back through the clouds toward the sun. The clouds came closer, then started spiraling down in front of us like a tornado in slow motion. I realized that they had taken the shape of a giant caracol in the sky. The sky continued to darken, the colors continued to deepen, and the stars began to blink themselves awake. The clouds became thicker and thicker, the giant column that had been the caracol started moving to the north of us, and pretty soon there was thunder and lightning. The wind started laughing: "You think you have wind? Think again!" I could hear it making its way towards us across the desert. And then a huge gust sent sparks from our fire swirling all around us. Amazingly, we were still able to see all of the stars even through the storm clouds. It appeared as if all of them had taken their seats upon the clouds to observe us as if we were gladiators trying to survive in the arena of the storm, which seemed to be getting closer. But what actually happened....it moved completely around us, leaving a giant hole in the sky directly above us which served as our window to the universe. I was pretty convinced that because of our caracol salute we had created a giant forcefield around us which was protecting us from the storm. We had called rain to the surrounding desert, bringing life to the peyote seeds which we had scattered to the winds just hours prior. I remember this night as the night of the celestial storm, and the giant caracol in the sky. *sigh...* And this is why in my dreams I returned there to experience union with the clouds...

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