I'm at some kind of outdoor festival. My dad and stepmom are watching Andre. At some point I see them without Andre and ask them where he is. My dad says not to worry about it, he is fine. I still want to know where he is and am imagining him being along sleeping in car, but scared when he wakes up to find nobody there, and the door may not even be looked so strangers could take him. My dad continues to insist that he is fine and I should just have some trust and respect that he knows what he is doing. There is quite a bit of anger between us, and I tell him he should respect my right to know where my child is, so I can put my mind to ease. He disagrees and we carry on like this, each of us telling the other that we are not respecting each other. The feeling is frustration and anger.
Yesterday or the day before, I was thinking of the last time I talked to my dad, and how he had said that he wanted to come with me the next time I visited my mom. He made it sound like he would just like to visit her and be of some company to me for the road trip. Later, I realized that he just wants to ask my mom for some money so he can go to this really fancy detox centre in Nanaimo where they have vegetariain meals, a swimming pool and a sauna. I know this because earlier in our talk, he mentioned this fancy detox centre and how you had to be rich to go there, as it was 2000 or so. The only time he has ever wanted to just visit my mom in person is to borrow money. I have never liked this about my dad, yet have held back telling him, and, of course, will not bring him with me to visit my mom because I don't want my dad to take advantage of her. She has already been repeatedly victimized by my brother and she has to do a lot to prevent it from happening again. I will not tell my dad why I won't take him to visit my mom. I also understand why he asks me, as I have gotten our extended family (mom, dad-in-common-law, real dad, stepmom, and all of us whole and half siblings) together a few times in the past, and he knows I like this. I really resent my dad being manipulative and when I ask him about detox, he rarely speaks deeply about anything he has learned, and it never works for long. Seems like it is just a holiday for him, yet I would never tell him that either, so I imagine my dreaming about him is venting, and Andre is actually my mom, and waking up and having nobody there is my mom realizing she has been taken advantage again.