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"Worse Than Hitler!"

12/27/11

The beginning of the dream starts out with me watching a documentary of sorts. The show is documenting high ranking Nazi military officers. I must have had them on the brain at the time having recently watched 'Soldier of Orange'. I don't recall any names at first. But the show does seem to focus on specific high ranking officers in the German military during WWII - and overlaps images of them with footage of today's US politicians. Comparing them to the bureaucrats of today. I didn't recognize any names but I'm only guessing that one of them might have been Donald Rumsfeld? -I'm not sure what the point of the documentary is, to paint these political figureheads of today, saying they're no different than the Nazi military. --All I know is at the end I recall hearing something very specific. So much that I wrote it down upon waking before I forgot.

In the end of the sequence I hear someone in the documentary say the words (apparently quoting them from something somebody said in an interview) "Arnold Schwartzeneger is WORSE than Hitler!"

The next thing I know I'm in school again. Not from when I was a kid, but I mean re-attending night school. And I specifically am only there for the film class, wanting to be a filmmaker and all. Steve has me do homework assignments on three different movies. In the dream I felt like I knew what the movies were but upon waking I'm trying my hardest to recall the titles. I come up blank? -There were THREE specific titles. I'm behind and I get my older bro to help me. My bro (Austin) I ask to fetch me the worksheets for the other two movies. I'm currently working on the worksheet for the THIRD movie. For some reason I seem 'desperate'! It's 'important to me that I get my hands on the FIRST and SECOND movie worksheets!!!

From that the dream switches gears to a much happier setting. It's the holiday time as you can tell by the date above. I'm either joining in, or just watching the gang from Chris' show. They're all together and singing warm-hearted Christmas carols in their classic auditorium. Red drapes behind us, I think? Lots of shades of red, green, blue, ect. With a tree, and candles, sweaters, decorations, and lots of cheerful singing. This is a very mellow moment, very relaxing. -Makes me wonder --what on Earth am "I" doing here?!!

I make special note for some reason that only the groups two male and female leads sing the loudest during the verses, leaving only the courses to be sung by EVERYONE. It's like being cast as sheep in the Nativity Scene. (I'm not sure if I exactly recognize the Christmas song I end up hearing during this part?)

There's this peculiar sequence that happens next in which ET is on the film lot, interviewing - I'm sure Chris' show, and anyone else filming there. There's this one movie that ET interviews, and they capture this moment involving the young boy actor who stars in this movie, a family friendly adventure involving him and a small deer, a fawn I suppose. The boy talks about working with the deer, they seem to get along great.

But the deer is OUT OF CONTROL. Especially when a dog comes barking out of nowhere and nearly scares the poor fawn half to death! The boy wrestles the deer trying to get him (or her) under control. The scene ends with a peculiar three way stare between the deer, the dog, and the boy all hunkering down to look each other square in the eye, with bemused curiosity. Like they're trying to figure out particularly what the other is?...

The final scene involves ET interviewing 'me', of all people? And they want to get my thoughts of what I really thinking of Chris? -Not only that, but to be more specific that REALLY want to know my 'dirtiest' thoughts of Chris. As I'm being shown some sort of horsing around chase between Chris and a bunch of drunken friends of his while I'm listening to my own voice respond to the line of questioning. At least it starts out with Chris, but I think in the end I'm just watching a bunch of drunk 20 something kids, having fun and roughing each other up in the cold. Jumping off rooftops of short houses and just immature shit like that.

I feel pressure from the interviewer. I wanna be all professional and sorta talk about what a great guy Chris is and how special he is to me, and get all mushy lovey-dovey blah blah blah. -But the female interviewer really baits me, "yes - but how do you 'really' feel?" --"I'm not sure what you're getting at?" "Would do 'do' him?" "Would I what?- --would I- did you just ask if I'd 'do him'?"

This lady really wants me to get raunchy, she wants 'the dirt' from me. I don't think I'm famous in the least bit in the dream, I wonder why she wants this from me? -However, I feel pressured that the rough-housing straight guys in the activity I'm seeing in the dead of FREEZING COLD outside wouldn't hesitate in the least to answer the question. I play along -"oh yeah 'I'd do him', totally." "Even though it's freezing cold out" -what, is she asking me if I'd do him 'right now?' -"Oh yeah, I don't care, even in the freezing cold, I'd totally 'do him'!"

Normally I bottle in these kinds of thoughts when thinking of Chris, I keep thinking I'll offend him or scare him off or something. My spiritual training tells me to stop viewing others as sexual objects, but at the same time, I'm told that doesn't mean they don't want the same things you do now and again. During this sequence I feel 'comfortable' with saying that aloud. I don't think Chris can hear me say it, but it's the first opportunity I've been given 'that kind of freedom' to be able to say what I feel. Just BLURT out the low-brow, and it feels good -- oh yeah, in a heartbeat, I'd 'hit that'!

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