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Jesus Screams

9/6/13

So, I had this rather brief, short dream the other day. It was one of those nights where I find myself falling asleep and waking back up several times rather than having a consist 8 hour rest. This comes to me at a time of great internal turmoil, pertaining to my own religious and philosophical beliefs, and my own personal outline for my future. -But I've been trying to remain on the optimistic which is why I need a second opinion from one of my readers regarding whether it's a "good" sign, or a "warning" of some kind, y'know "red light" "danger Will Robinson danger!"

I tried interpreting it myself but honestly this is unfamiliar territory to me - I've never had a dream like this before, and it's so short, which makes it so difficult to pick apart. I'd like somebody to tell me from their point of view what y'all think They might be saying to me? -Cause it's worth pointing out this particular dream comes to me on the sleep after a particular night in which my neck of the woods here had suffered a thunder and lightning storm. Not a small one like the ones before. Once you read on you'll see why I find the correlation between the events so unsettling. At one point (almost as if to send a message right to me) a bolt of lightning cracks right above the house (I thought it was gonna come through the window) cuts the power immediately and I scream out loud! That's the first time I've screamed publicly in over 15 years...

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It starts out at night. Some kind of ancient remote village. Actually it feels more like the side of a dirt road or plow field of some kind. It's cold, eventually it starts raining, which makes the earth beneath our feet quite muddy before long. This might shock you all but I swear I'm not making this up. -Apparently in the dream, I'm Jesus.

Which would make this dirt road...where? I actually don't know where. I've been researching the life of Jesus lately but honestly haven't memorized all the places and routes of pilgrimages Jesus and his clique made 2000 years ago. So I'm not exactly where this is supposed to be to make it his "home", Nazareth maybe?

Speaking of which, I've apparently returned home safely from a recent pilgrimage as it is. I do say 'safely', man people sure don't like you spreading all this peace and love nonsense back then. The dream doesn't actually tell me where it is I've 'been', just that I've returned home. (I can't recall what name my disciples address me by here so to all my readers, I'm gonna have to cut it out of the dialogue as I continue.) Ok so wherever it is I've been, there's apparently some sense implied that I may not have made it back at all, I could have even been imprisoned wherever it was I went to - or well, they would have "tried". I'm sure I could have just "miracled" my way out of there!

As I return home late, early in the morning perhaps, no one is expecting me and my entourage. I ask my disciples who were with my family here in the village while I was away where ought my family be? -Immediately (the guy I'm talking to looks sort of bald, we all have on kinds of robes and early middle eastern wear, his has a sash with green on it) my disciple, a grave look crosses his face. "______ I don't quite know how to tell you, I'm afraid since you've been away the Invaders came upon the village (he might be talking about the Romans?) and your wife and children were killed in the attack."

I'm in a state of shock, and denial. I can't believe what I've just heard, I can't believe my own eyes. I'm staring down at a mass of four graves. One of them is my wife's, the others are my three children. I've lost everything...why?

There's a moment of just me kneeling down in the rain, muddy dirt graves. It's cold. But I don't care. There's a long silent pause, nothing but me looking mournful at my family's final resting places. Then just like that -- I scream as loud as I possibly can!

After I finally get done screaming, for what seems like a long breath. I get angry. I wanna blame someone! My exact words (I'm addressing the Father) I say: "You son of a bitch! What kind of God are you?"...

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I wake up, that scared the shit out of me! I wonder if anybody heard me screaming? Is God angry with me...or other way around?

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