The waxing moon perhaps?
finding the light?
illuminating the path to the source?
the steps following my death.
before sleep last night I experienced a huge flux of emotional potencies running through my body. Practically beyond my control, I sat there and let it run through me while my grandmothers body gently wheezed in her sleep beside me.
I read another chapter of a very important book. I figured it would tire my eyes but it only gave me more anxiety.
Insomnia had me in a total vice, for almost an hour, but eventually I crept into the land of dreams.
the dream was very busy, and when I woke from it and found the sunlight splashed over the duvet, I tossed and turned and returned to the dream quite a few times. When I woke up I felt very uncomfortable and stiff, although the details of why are the ones which have fled my mind for now.
dream -
I was in simon's room at submerged, and there was a giant candle.
probably about a foot in diameter, and almost 2 feet tall.
it was encased in a clear, plastic or vinyl containment, an external cylinder which held it in place. The top had a handle for easy carrying.
I stuck my lighter in there, trying to light it. Eventual success came, but I soon realized there was actually a switch, like a light switch, which would activate the fire from an electric spark deep in the bottom shaft of the wick.
The candle was no ordinary candle. There seemed to be some kind of hologram, which moved wherever you were looking into the clear encasing, kind of like the point of sheen in a star ruby/star sapphire. The encasing I realized, was not of an ordinary physical material, but something similar to a plasma, or an unstable/conscious element which shifted depending on the perspective it was being viewed from. Kind of like, quantum in the sense of particle/wave.
The section in which I was looking at was like that of a crystal ball. I looked into the opening, and it was like I was scrying into deep space. It was illuminated, constantly changing like a screen saver, only it felt like I was looking into galaxies, tumbling into new corridors of space. Blues and greens and purples flashed before me within specs of white light, that conveyed a very magikal, psychedelic effect upon my psyche.
I was lost in it for hours, because when I came to, I realized the candle had diminshed substantially in height.
Kara showed up. She had a shirt around her head, the way she did at Burning Man on the last day. It was her candle. She laughed and told me I could keep it, as it was at the end now. She said she had another one. I looked around the candle and saw a price tag, that sayd 85.43. The 85 was larger. She told me that Ben gave it to her, and sounded very smitten to say so.
I talked to Ben about it in the living room. We discussed how it would be the best thing ever for a festival, as it was extremely grounding and elevating to look at, brought light and heat, and had a steady handle to be carried around in.
I was already planning on investing in another one. 85 dollars was a lot for a candle I guess, but it wasnt just any candle.
Through the dream I ended up in the same house as the dream "Darkness and the Gayatri". only the house was now under overcast light instead of in the dark. I remember the big grey\white steps leading to the back door, and a vague gardeny-ness around the whole area.
I was trying to become comfortable in this house (the new house?) but I just couldnt. There was a haunting energy there, and I remember something to do with tentacles, ... Ursula? ..
Very strange. this is the part I am super hazy about , but I accredit it for the discomfort that I woke up to.
It was a repetitive thing, me feeling haunted. I couldnt put my finger on it.
Another portion of the dream, was spent with Simon. He was trying to coordinate with Jalisa on some level. We at one point were in this bachelor suite. Just one big room and a tiny bathroom, I dont even remember a kitchen. Simon was sitting on the bed, and seemed smaller than usual. Almost more like a child. He was waiting for Jalisa, who in the dream was even more theatric and dramatic than usual, and was coming in and out of the space, laughing maniacally. I felt very out of place there. I remember explaining to him for some reason that the space was too small for us, and wouldnt be suitable. I dont undrestand why I said this, cause I think it was her space, not ours. But every thing is a little cloudy after the candle point.
