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gardens and exboyfriends

I fell asleep right after watching the hobbit, so naturally I wanted to party with dwarves in my dream. They are so perfect. Anyway.

An old dilapidated farmhouse on a hill, huge open spaces all around, a bonfire out back. I invite mathew because I know that he will fit in perfectly with the raucous dwarves drinking and singing around the blaze. He tells me that he will be there eventually. My arm begins to itch and I believe I am being eaten alive by mosquitos, so I head inside to figure out what to do about it. The house is strange, slightly threatening. Masses of earthworms wriggle in the cracks in the floor and ceiling. I keep waiting to see some worms drop but they are firmly entrenched in their crevasses.

When I head back outside I am standing in the backyard of the catalpa house. instead of a lawn there is a beautiful garden, tended by my grandmother, and the party has become her hosted occasion instead of my own. I have the urge to study and take notes over the specific plants carefully, where they are, how much sun or shade they are receiving, which ones are planted nearest each other. I get out the hose and douse them all liberally, approaching my grandmother to tell her that I have watered the garden. she laughs but says thank you. apparently she only waters them every ten days. this does not seem enough to me and I finger a wilted leaf on one plant.

there is a large marijuana plant near the center of the garden but the buds are golden. no one seems to realize exactly what it is, they alternate between calling it a tree and a flower.

I remember the worms and wish that I could enrich the beds by scooping them up and scattering them over the soil, but I can't find them nor do I want to touch them with my hands.

I sit on the railing of the porch with a beautiful girl. her hair is vibrant. turquoise. she is sickly sweet and I am intensely drawn to her. we talk, I watch her face, her lips. I lean in to kiss her, thinking that if mathew were to see he would be mad. as my lips touch hers, so soft, so delicious like fresh fruit in my mouth, he opens the glass door and steps out onto the porch. his musculature is much more defined than I have ever seen it, his clothes unfamiliar and uncharacteristic. he is not happy to see me with the beautiful girl. I lead her away, through the garden, around the corner of the house by the garage door. she is talking to me but all I can think of is the taste of her sweet lips and I kiss her again, touching her neck and running my hands down her ribcage. she is wearing a thick sweater. I worry if her slight hesitation, or rather, her lack of enthusiasm compared to my own, has to do with my mouth, does my breath smell? it certainly can't match the delicious taste of her own.

again something interrupts us and we go inside. as we ascend the stairs I see mathew standing near the open front door smoking a cigarette. my father approaches and tells him that he can't leave the door open. mathew responds by closing it and backing up into the house, still with a lit cigarette. he is not happy. my father is not happy, either. I tell mat to stop being an ass and go smoke outside because I hate the lingering smell of secondhand smoke, and he calls me a liar.

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