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bird brains

there are already several people in the bed, but I climb in anyway and lay along the very edge. suddenly there is a great commotion as one of the sleepers' back has been gouged and slashed up, blood everywhere. children running, screaming. everything settles back down. I intend to keep a watch in case in happens again, and lay in the dark room under white sheets beside the other pale bodies. in the corner of the room a large bird, peacock shaped but with a scarlet macaw's coloration, leaves her perch in a ruffle of feathers. her scaly feet are huge, talons curved and wicked sharp. she lands on his back again, clearly the perpetrator.

gregory and I play in the yard. mat makes an appearance.

I am awoken by a text message from josephicus. when I fall back asleep, we are sitting, waiting, just inside the doors of a massive cathedral. the congregation is past another set of doors, but this room we inhabit is like a small grocery store or gas station connivence shelves. I choose wasa crackers and search for avocados, but there is no produce. I slip inside the main doors and walk past the huge gathered crowd, into another room off the other side. it is a grocery. one side is filled with all sorts of produce, families, mostly non-white, perusing for their food. I locate an overripe avocado and wander towards the unexplored side.

a section of morel mushrooms as large as a forearm give way to large hunks of meaty flesh. I choose some sort of bird, large as a turkey but misshapen and strange. it disgusts me but I can not keep myself from bringing it with me, cradling it in my arms. I find my mother sitting in a crowded pew and sit beside her. more people are trying to scoot past me in order to join our crowded row. Renea dressed as a highschool cheerleader approaches me. I say nothing, she looks excited to see me, but I mostly ignore her. my mother chastises me.

my meat hunk is now in a reusable cloth grocery bag and I am feeling increasingly guilty about having it in my possession. I run back to the grocery side of the church, holding the handles of the bag. near the meat is an asian family selecting their protein. I swing the bag up over the short glass divider and leave it there. when I get back to the pew, the preacher is leading the our father, but the congregation has their hands upturned like they are about to receive communion from their places in the pew. I feel confused, like I used to know how to preform all of these ritual actions but it has been too long and I have forgotten. suddenly their voices swell and many of the people seem to thrash a bit in religious ecstasy. the ceremony is over. everyone is milling about, moving off. I run to the doors, expecting to see a flood of people out on the street.

The only people I see are walking past the church. no one exits. I am trying to meet back up with josephicus but I can't remember what he looks like. I mill about outside for a moment, looking across the street to the green space of a park. when I walk back inside the church, everyone is gone. I see alicia in a dress, sweeping some dust into a pan. I greet her but wander off.

the grocery has turned into a sort of labyrinth mansion. I can hear a crowd in the distance but can't see them. I am searching for them, climbing stairs with highly decorative carpets that are suddenly frighteningly rickety when I am walking along hallways that seem to float in the air. I feel like someone is going to stop me and tell me that I don't belong here. I open a door and instead of a victorian mansion I feel like I am in some sort of concrete bunker underground or behind the scenes at a mall in the service exit. this is all wrong, but I can't escape. every door is the same, and they all lead nowhere.

peacock
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mother
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side
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bird
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room
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