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journal
almost 11 years ago
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starlight
soul
praise
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amount
2021
Unconscious Starlight

I’m overwhelmed

By the force of my emotions.

Ice water pours down my throat

Into my chest, and chills me.

-

Beauty seems sweeter

Sunlight turns to honey drops of gold

Pure but faded

Light reminiscent of dark.

-

I don’t want to be sad

This isn’t a call for pity

Or something I mean to dwell on

I just cannot block it out.

-

Full of tears and thunderclouds

I try to see clearly

Though the ghosts of fallen raindrops

Drown me with silent intricacy.

-

I want to burn brightly

But the fire is trapped inside my rib cage

Licking and tearing hotly

And I swear I am going mad.

-

So much to do

Accomplishments on the horizon

Success and strength

But I’ve already lost.

-

The desire to move forward

A call to live bravely

Motivates me to take action

Even as I fade.

-

At least this last echo of me

Can make an imprint on the world

A desperate attempt to express

The chaos I harbor inside.

-

Without drama or exaggeration

I can honestly say

That I am struggling

And my every breath

Is put toward salvaging this broken life of mine.

-

Even as my dreams tempt me, drive me

Into a place unknown to me

Where perhaps I will fly

I feel myself weakening inwardly

The more impressive my actions

The less of me left to praise.

-

Because this night is inside my soul

And no amount of love or joy

Will save me from its shades;

Its unconscious starlight.

unconscious
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