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137
Somewhere Down the Crazy River

Last night I took the bus home from downtown, and though the entire bus was empty, a man decided to share my seat with me.

"Didja see that Chinaman out there standing in front of you?" He asked. "I was staring at you two thinkin', wow, what a wild couple that would be. He had to be half as tall as you, huh, blondie?"

"Yeah, I saw him. I don't think it would've worked out between us."

"That's for sure. Are you homeless?"

When I told him no, he went on to talk about "billion dollar babies" and the politics of street kids, and how him and I should be Ozzy and Blondie, but we can't because they got us down, they got us under them, there's already an Ozzy and Blondie and the Bowness Hotel won't book us because he was born in England and all the guitars in the world won't do whats been done and the rest of his metal band went home. He took his birth certificate out of his wallet and showed it to me. I read his name. He was born in Boston.
"They issued this to me in England and I'm from Boston and I've been here and i've always been here, and i'm stuck here and even if I procreate its already been written and done, you know? Varsity acres, man. My kid's kid's if I had any. You get it?"

I stared out the window and nodded. He asked for my name. I told him people call me _______ in the real world. He told me people call him E-O, Or I-E, A-OW, or other "Nick-words". "Who owns 'Z'?" He asked. Who owns the words in the dictionary or in the encyclopedia? It's why we need nick-words and we can all own our own words if you can do such a thing, and share words and be creative with words, and pass down words to the highest bidder, you know?" Then he told me he was thinking about becoming a prostitute.

I was home then and wished him a good night before stepping off the bus.

Then he was in my dream.

I was standing over the bow river and I saw a pod of dolphins beneath the water (they actually looked like whales, but I was calling them dolphins), and they had yellow algae stuck to them. The guy from the bus was standing on my right side, and there was another person with me, but I'm not sure who they were. The dolphin/whales started jumping up to us and letting us touch them and the babies and mommies were snuggling each other in the water.

Next thing I knew I was walking through the stampede grounds with a towel that wasn't big enough to wrap around me, and I was looking for a phone to call my mom so she could come pick me up because I was naked. "Mandy" by Barry Manilow was playing in the background.

Earlier in the night I had a dream that I was in my friend Vanessa's bathroom, and she had a basket of wrapped dildos for guests that cost her a dollar a piece. You had to stick your tongue in their pee hole to "open them up".

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