August 24th, 2013
Since I came to Newfoundland a couple of weeks ago, Chris Corner has been coming back into my dreaming. Apparently, he has been suffering acute insomnia for quite a while now and was being treated at a specialty center to no avail. To be honest, I'm worried about him. Us dreamers know how detrimental not sleeping really can be.
Aside from my having LOVED his music for years, he often has shown up in my dreaming space and shared dreaming with me. We have a rather one-sided relationship going on. Unless, of course, I somehow show up in his dreaming as well, which is totally possible, as I have been known to make appearances. Two nights ago, just his face came into view, as if his spirit came through the dreaming fog just to check in. I saw him there, sleeping…or trying to.
In this dream his hair was a little longer and a natural dark auburn color. He was so thin and pale. There was some part for some reason where we ended up in a large building with lots of people, and one woman had brought me bottles and bottles of prescription pills for which I had no prescription. Adderal, oxycontin, xanax, sleeping pills et cetera. She said she didn't have my money, but that these pills were worth ten times as much on the street. I accepted the pills.
I was in a bathroom trying to figure out how to hide them all in a backpack the woman gave me to carry them with and overheard a woman and her boyfriend have a fight. She had said something rather benign, and he shot her down as if she was incapable of knowing that information. She asked me my thoughts, and I said men often did that to women. It was somewhere deep in their nature to question themselves when women are strong and intelligent. I went into giving her an example, but I was rambling about having a hydrogen bomb or something…I don't know. I did not look at the mirror right in front of me.
Then I went back with Chris, and holding my hand, he wandered through dreaming with me until all the other people disappeared and I began to really look at him. He looked so frail and beautiful. He is smaller than me. I kissed him, and that turned into quite a longer delicious moment we shared together. I felt that feeling of desire to devour that happens when one really is attracted to another and wants to swallow them whole. Voracious, but with sweetness of course. I feel so protective of him in dreaming.
The other people began to reappear and he smiled at me. We were in a bar. The people kind of tore us apart. His hand fell from mine, and they dragged him over to the bar to fill him with drinks as he kept looking at me. I lost sight of him and gained lucidity quite strongly. I was so worried by the energy there. It was frenetic, vampiric, and I worried about him being around that all the time. I stood by the bar and ordered something strong, and slammed my hands down on the wood because I couldn't see him/save him. I wanted to let him do his thing and not smother him by needing to be near him all the time, but I also felt like he needed someone to watch over him and make sure he didn't have his energy sucked out by circumstance.
One girl came up to me and whispered in my ear. "You know, he is much more sick than you think." That made me desperate. I stopped the world by screaming his name and expanding my energy to fill the room. Most of the people disappeared again, and I saw him. He smiled. I ran over and hugged him tight. And I said, "Honey, are you all right? They said you were more sick than I realized. I thought I had lost you." He kissed me again and wrapped his thin arms around my neck.
Now, here's the intense part. He turned towards me and said, "I can see LilyBell in your eyes (my grandmother who passed in 2002). You have the same desperation there as if you don't know how stunning you are." It made my heart fill with tears, and I said to him, "Chris, I have really enjoyed dreaming with you." He smiled, and I pulled out into waking.
August 24th, 2013