I was spending time with Francois Arnaud, the French Canadian actor. I feel like we were kind of dancing around each other, playing with an attraction. We might have been in a relationship, but it wasn't voiced.
There was a period of time where we were staring at each other. It was an interesting moment, because his face wasn't shape shifting, which usually happens when I look at a face in dreaming. We were touching fingertips and kind of just existing as two beings in a womblike energy cradle. I hugged him, and noticed his smell. I was lucid enough to think that it's not often that I've ever had the sense of smell in dreaming.
Then another girl came into the picture. She was a friend of mine in the dream, but I didn't recognize her from waking. All three of us began practicing lines together for a theater play Francois was working on. She stopped and whispered to him that she really wanted to have sex with him. He was embarrassed because I was there. I touched her arm and said, "You don't have to hide anything from me, love. Say what you will."
He was uncomfortable and seemed upset with me for that. Then I made some kind of joke about something. I only remember saying, "…and you can buy that with your first paycheck." He was hurt by that. I said, "Oh, I'm so sorry. I had no idea that would be hurtful!"
I asked the other girl, "Was that hurtful?" She didn't want to answer because now she was feeling weird for her previous comment. I said, "Please, be honest with me." She nodded, yes. So I stood and made a heartfelt apology to Francois for hurting his feelings and to her for having to have witnessed me being hurtful. I still didn't really have an idea as to why my words were hurtful, but it didn't matter. Francois seemed so emotionally vulnerable and sweet and open hearted that it occurred to me that it would be quite easy to wound him with my words. I hugged him again and loved him for his big heart. He reminded me then of my waking life boyfriend who is just the most adorable big hearted creature there is.
The dream made me think about how careful I have to be with my words. I forget sometimes that words which would not really bother me are often quite hurtful for others. It is a challenge from the Universal mind for me to watch my tongue around others so that I do not cause any more suffering, and also for me to continue to not take things personally that are said to me so that I do not suffer the words of others either.
