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almost 8 years ago
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Madonna tried to steal my man.

I don't remember all of it, but I do remember being at a fashion show. There were lots of celebrities and beautiful people. I was there with my boyfriend, but the seating was segregated. Men on one side and women on the other. He was sat with a bunch of lovely looking young Latin men, kind of like himself.

There was a bit of a kerfluffle when Madonna and a hoard of her entourage entered the room. The show hadn't begun yet. Everyone knows Madonna likes young Latino boy toys, and she made a bee-line for my boyfriend and his friends. She cleared the front row on the men's side, and sat right next to my boyfriend. I was like Whaaaaaaaaat!? Sergio was kind of terrified. I could read his mind.

The show began with the men's line. All of the outfits were gorgeous. As it was finishing and changing to the women's line, I entered Madonna's body, and was observing her from the inside. She leaned over to Sergio and asked, "How did you like the new line?" He said, "It was amazing. I loved every piece." She said, "Fine. You shall have it all." She waved her hand, and a servant came over to take her order. She said, "I'll have it all in this lovely man's size. Put it in his name." She leaned over to Sergio and said, "What is your name honey?" He said, "Um, Sergio." She said, "Of course it is," and chuckled. I thought momentarily, "Hey! Way to go Sergio. You needed some new clothes." Then I thought, "Heeeeeeeeeey, wait a minute. That old reptile is trying to steal my man!"

She asked him if he'd like to go back to her hotel with her and talk some more, but he refused. He pointed to me, and said that he was spoken for. THen he got up and ran over to me and sat on my lap and hugged my neck like a little kid, which I thought was hilarious. He whispered into my ear, "Save me! That old skeleton is trying to steal me away." I said to him, "Shit. I wonder if this means you can't keep the clothes."

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