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Karmapa - Encounters with a Superhuman

It begins months before... Weeks before... Days before... Deciding to meet with Karmapa is like choosing to look into the innermost darkness of my own soul. My ego reels back in just the idea of coming face to face with such a high voltage source of light.

Weeks before, I'm breathing mindfully, preparing for the moment of eye contact. Days before, I'm nervous, frusterated with the ficklness of my own mind and how easily I appear to give into my desires. Hours before, i prepare to meditate and clear my mind for an encounter with the Void, incarnate... Sitting on a roof overlooking sleepy midnight Dharamshala - the wind kicks up, chilling me through layers of yak wool blankets. I'll just finish this inside...

I setup a simple ritual altar and ground into a deep meditation for about 15 min. The animal light spirits are with me. I'm faced with my own spiritual drowsyness. My butt is the earth. My head is all of space... Sleep begins to overtake me.

I lie down witb my heart on the firm bed, breathing lihht through it and into the center. A river flows between me and great Mother Earth. In and out. In and out. Just a few more breaths and I will sit upright. In and out. I fall into a deep sleep.

Laying in my dream bed, an old beautiful friend climbs under the covers with me, snuggling me with her lucious body. I can feel her flowing through my veins. We're good at this. I cant claim to be the greatest lover in my waking life, but these gopis who visit me in my dreams deliver the kind of erotic experience I can only imagine is possible if any woman could get past the walls I've built around my heart to keep my schedule clear. I am under Mayas spell, with a foot outside the door. I cannot resist. It is ancient primodial completion of being.

I look around the room - some of my best friend lounge on the bed with me, we are calm peaceful and relaxed (for now) when Karmapa blows in the dream-door like a thunderous wind. He looks at our painting we made of him, implying "its not finished!" Seeing I'm too sleepy to get up and impatient to wait until I'm rested, he produces a thangka paintbrush and begins finishing the piece into a beautiful Kalichakra mandala. His diligence, firm phisique, excellent painting technique and awakened mind are humbling, as he commits himself to finishing the piece in our presence...

I look around surrounded by my closest friends, a beautiful lover in body lock with me and Karmapa painting and smiling at us. "i love you all, thank you, i'm in heaven right now." yet under the surface I cant help but think I'm missing something... Big... Like my highest potential is still waiting to be realized.

This goes on for some time - on and on. Blessed by kindred spirits, pure physical bliss and Holy Presence - when suddenly the Dalai Lama pokes his head in the door, signaling "it's time."

The Karmapa stands up without hesitation, exiting the room as Dalai Lama and himself along with a legion of monks begin prostrating towards a vast distant light. I am torn between wanting to photograph this most photogenic scene, and joining them in the prostration, even as my cultural conditioning judges my participation.

My lover friend leaves me with a sour taste in my mind, but it seems irrelevant next to the great void shining outside. Caught in the netherworld between nirvana and samsara i stew in my own doubts - recognizing and detached from my condition, and yet still under its spell.

My alarm rings perfectly on my minds que - i awaken - its been 6 hours - soon I will meet Karmapa...

By the time I've meditated, prepared myself, followed the wind of auspicious signs out the door, enjoyed a cucumber in the 20 min Taxi ride to the monastery, and sat in the waiting room enjoying tea for about an hour - i'm loose and sharp. I feel like I've conquered the world, yet meek and humble at the same time. As the causal fruition of my intention to meet Karmapa closes in, its as though its already happened and I'm in the future watching it unfold.

Breathing with malas in hand - one bead at a time. The moment approaches. My heart beats faster. My body is dissolved by a warm glow descending from my crown chakra. I walk into the reception room - he's waiting for me. "hello" "karmapa" "yes" "do you remember me?" "yes, have a seat"

I lay my envelope with the painting of him on his table beneath the same dorje he blessed in my last audience 18 months ago. He eyes are like thunderbolts. His words digging sreaight into the reason I've come to see him. My breath is a bit quick, yet steady. All seems to go well, short of all pleasantries. He hands me back my dorje with unique style. "you come back, next time we work out the poem." "thank you." Humbled and glowing - and I'm out. It echoes like 108 beads of awakening moving through my body like vast serpents of pure chi - it continues. Gifts of awakening.

Low bows to Brother Karmapa. Truley blessed by thunderbolts of awakening.

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