I was walking through a super market / grocery store looking for something. Everyone that worked there started telling everybody that was still in the place that it was closing time. It was dark outside and dimly lit inside. One of the workers said, "man, i need a drink." I said, "I haven't had a drink for 41 days." She said, "seriously? 41 day and no drinking?" I said, "it's a lot harder than you think."
I have had dreams of giving in to temptation and ordering a beer at a bar, or having one at home.
I knew the store was closing, but I came from the front where the registers were and proceeded to look through the large isles again. I wasn't sure what I thought I wanted - maybe I was just killing time, but then I thought to myself, "i'll see if i can find some more decaf tea, something that tastes good". As I searched and saw lots of stuff that I didn't think was necessary, I came up on my sister - or at least that's who it appeared to be. She said something about how she couldn't get any closer - or go any further toward the following isles - something about being on the meeds. I told her that I understood and said that I would walk closer to see if I could get a better look at what she was trying to see through a telescope - or rifle sight. It was a series of toys lined up - and I'm not sure, but I think they could move and create formations on their own. I remember that one of them was a "troll", one of those stupid toys with the colorful hair (pink) from back in the day. I walked closer to that section of the store and gradually began to wake up.
As I had been telling that lady who worked there about not drinking for 41 days, I had been browsing these low isles - sorta in the back corner - looked a bit like a Costco display only smaller - and it was just racks of liquor. Lots of vodka I think. I don't really even like vodka, but I was checking it out and thinking that it wasn't something I needed - and at the same time a part of me I think was wondering where the good stuff was.
Not sure how long I lingered at the front of the store by the registers, but I had been in this particular store before in my dreams - as I recalled in the dream. Last time I was there I had been looking for something else - like a christmas present or something.
There really wasn't hardly anybody there. I felt like people were in the place, but I really only saw maybe a total of 3 or 4 at the most. Including my "sister" - some little girl who actually wasn't old enough to be my sister - and I'm not sure if I actually saw her or just heard her as she told me about her restriction. She was defending herself it seemed - like she was trying to tell me that the parents thought she was crazy, but that I would understand she wasn't crazy, even though she talked in an eerie way - like she was vacant and terrified, but strong enough to ask me for help.
And I may have been looking for tea while really looking to find out where the store kept actual beer rather than liquor.
Interestingly enough, it actually has been 41 days since my last alcoholic beverage and since then I have replaced beer with tea. It hasn't been easy every day, but for the most part I find that I am able to have better days without drinking. I don't believe in "having problems" and so I certainly haven't pursued AA or anything like that - particularly because I do not align with the religious component - so I've just gone on this adventure on my own. No booze, no smokes, and lots of tea to replace it. And in the process i've been learning to get to sleep earlier while eating less… the yoga also helps and staying focused on my studies - as mundane as it can be sometimes - keeps the idle hands out of the clutches of the demons :)
