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The Show

I was on stage trying to play a show with my old band The Drive Home.
There was a substantial audience there to see us.
I think we were at the Phoenix Theatre in Petaluma.
For some reason I was the front man and I was supposed to sing.
They were waiting for me to start the song off.
I began playing the two chords I thought I was supposed to play on the guitar, but my picking pattern was wrong. I was going too fast and it was more like a fast metal way of picking the power chords than a rock way.
Eventually I noticed that I wasn't going to get it right so I became frustrated.
It started to sound like I was playing some kind of latin music or strumming the guitar like a mariachi player.
I was walking back and forth on the stage as I did this and out of nowhere, on stage left (my right facing the audience), I belted out an opera voice super loud.
I had decided to play some kind of bullfighter song - or it was the song that they play in baseball when things are getting intense.
The build up with the minor chords.
Someone with authority immediately interrupted me and forced me to stop because I was being a disturbance of some kind.
I thought it was funny as hell, but I found myself having to not play the show and this was very disappointing.

I was outside my apartment in SF and Lin my old manager from the Apple store was consoling me for having messed up the show.
She was telling me, it's okay buddy, you can't do everything right all the time, or something like that.
I could see her giving me that look she always gives over her glasses when she's trying to make a really serious assertion.

It was a real bummer because I was trying so hard to remember how to play the song, but I just couldn't get it right. I kept feeling like it wasn't my responsibility to know how to do it and that someone else should be cluing me in on what to do next.

It's also possible that I was trying too hard to impress some girl that was there and I was feeling really embarrassed. When I started doing the opera voice - sorta like Chevy Chase in the Three Amigos - people began laughing and I was momentarily proud of myself for sorta being a class clown...

I had lots of dreams before that that I think had something to do with leadership, but they have melted away.

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