Sometimes I wish I could just stay in my dreams forever. Just live my life dream after dream. I dont feel like being conscious and aware at times, life seems so hard... and living in a dream world would be easier.
Suicide has been on my mind a lot lately. Trying to solve my depression. Wishing my childhood was different. Wondering how my mother never really playing with me or letting me play with other children has and will effect me.
I know I have a lot to offer as a person. I have talents and aspirations. Im an artist, musician, I have a great mind, and a heart that has no bounds. No matter what I enjoy and am good at, or what I have to offer however is important to me right now.
I dont want to sit here and say, "I want to know what my purpose or calling is in life..."
I rather pose the question, "What is so great about life, that I should want to live it?"
We live in a world where people are hurt in so many different ways... everything you could imagine and more. Most the time, I feel like I cant relate to most of humanity.
Yes, there are new experiences in life in store for me.
And, In the end, when I die...
I hope my life is something I will have been glad to have lived.
But right now, I dont like life.