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almost 13 years ago
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1394
The Leap into Freedom

I had this dream the mainly sleepless night after the Ani Difranco concert in G.V. This is the only part of a series of dreams I remember. In this dream I am a huge elephant / mastodon creature that can live in the Ocean. I can swim and move through the water / seaweed, etc. very fast. At the beginning of the dream I am slow and scared. I am with two friends who are constantly trying to suck me into some kind of back talk / drama and I am over it, the feeling of being in chains and of wasting precious time and freedom. I want my freedom in nature fully expressed again and I've forgotten who I am in that but can feel / sense / it's pull on me. I know in my heart that in order to fully regain this wild freedom I need to abandon these friendships. All at once I somehow find the courage and just start running away from these two distracting forces in my world. I dive into the ocean and suddenly I am born free again. Free and fully expressed. I start swimming and it is as though my energy and the horizon I am swimming towards is an infinite expanse of safety and beauty. Of great heartful love at one with all of life in my hugeness. The world, once again, is mine, and I am a part of it in the fullness of self hood, in love with all, in my animal body. I swim under big patches of seaweed, dive over and under things, with amazing switfness and grace. The water is cold but perfect for me. I am released from fear, from the bondage of false friendships, and of extraneous mind bound entanglements that were hooking into theirs. The realization occurs to me upon waking that my "fear" body wasn't actually fear of the unknown, it was fear generated by being bound with lies and the blockage of life force energy I was experiencing with the two other parts. My feral, expansive heart based nature separates from the sense/mind bound world of illusions and relations based on transference and smallness. I'm sure there is more to the other dream figures beyond my concept however right now it feels true to stay with the sentient experience the Elephant's choice awakened in me.

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