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22
8
starlight
41106
dream
almost 13 years ago
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realize
presence
counted
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feel
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people
shifting
love
waking
mystery
empty
544
it begins and ends alone

i am often alone in dreams
surrounded by strangers or searching through crowds
seeking familiarity in a sea of eyes
occasionally i meet companions
or run into people i know from waking life
but sooner or later i realize that it is not them
the longer i stay
the more unlike the people i thought they were
they become
eventually i realize that i am dreaming or at least
that i am in another reality
and then lucidity is awesome
but i am again alone
unable to feel the presence of an other
a "you"
a someone to love
to hold on to while the unfathomable weirdness
or inordinate beauty of my surroundings
morphs into the ever changing onbeyond
always amazing
but empty with no one but myself to share it with

i have long since stopped being saddened or frightened
at the empty feeling of knowing the road ahead may be devoid of friends
or that the eternal mystery and revelation is that of an all encompassing self
the only thing that can be counted on in a world of
shifting faces
is the ever presence of the gaze
even though everything i have ever been
ever loved
known or felt
in a dream
is nothing but a facet of myself

upon waking i make it a habit to smile at the first person i see
and feel the unknowable "other" in them
give thanks for all that i know is not me
or at least the feeling i have here
of being able to know you
to see you
to love
who you are

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