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13 years ago
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Bruckner and LSD

Craziest fucking thing I did- a lover of mine, a broken relationship, I mended with lots of love and with this Christmas present: two tickets to see Bruckner's 4th symphony, a trip to the Metropolitan Museum of Art, and six tabs of acid.

We took two each, and ended up dosing some strangers in Central Park who gave us a hit of their blunt. Happy trails, strangers!

The whole experience was insane. There was resentment and bitterness, but it was dead cold winter in the city and the wind and ice were the Great Equalizer. We were both struggling, and to me, in that weather, no one was right and no one was wrong. We both just. . . leaned on each other? I don't know how to explain.

When we entered the symphony hall, it was like being abducted by aliens. I was dressed in a red fur coat, ridiculous, and she in a floral dress. We must have been the only passengers on that spaceship under the age of 80. I had no idea where our seats were and was tripping far too hard to figure it out. I met an usher who I think understood my troubles. . . she KIND OF helped me. . . she gave me a look that in the moment was kind of like a sign, like there was some spirit there older than her body that was speaking to the spirit with me older than my body. I don't know how to explain.

Anyway.

The music.

The music, great infinite and holy fuck of the universe, the music. It started with two pieces by Mozart. A musician is nothing. . . a musician is just a person who can structure emotions, that's all. Who can FEEL, brilliantly, and translate that feeling with equal brilliance. And Mozart does it better than anybody in the world except maybe Bach, or maybe Jimi, or maybe Elvin Jones.

the lead violinist was wearing a red dress. as her strings vibrated, my conscious perception slowly spiraled, approaching her, more instruments joined the fray, my perspective begins to split with the red dress at the center of the kaleidoscope, and then the introductory passage is complete and the music is in full sway and I am completely lost.

I couldn't tell you what I saw or what I heard or what I was going through for the next three hours except in bits and pieces, but instead I'll just rephrase: the music, great infinite and holy fuck of the universe, the. music. the. music.

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