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11 years ago
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Crossing the Tracks

I'm in a hotel room, inside with friends and we are having a party. There is a few people inside the room, but i don't remember who they were. Someone comes in from outside and tells me that my dad is waiting outside. I quickly scattered to gather my things... I had a large case (probably with my crystals inside - but i don't remember opening it) and a large black pot of boiling water. I left the hotel room and starting walking through the parking lot... I see a bright baby blue van, it looks like one of the VW eurovans. As i get closer to the van I see my dad walking out of the other side of the hotel with my step sister and he is also carrying my half sister (she is about 6). He over to the van and opens the door for me, and I noticed 2 small beds with a very elderly couple laying on them. (The way the van was laid out was completely backwards.... I got in through the door and walked to the back of the van.. but the back was the front seat, and next to me was my dad in the drivers seat... and the 2 beds with the elderly couple were in front of us, then in front of them was my 2 sisters.) We started to drive and my dad asked me why I had a large pot full of boiling water, I don't remember what I told him, but i felt the need to roll down the window and dump it out... but I wanted to wait until we got to a stop sign. We pulled up to a stop sign and I hesitated to dump the water.. I rolled down the window a little bit, but I didn't dump the water. We turn onto a road and are heading towards train tracks.... I can see a train coming, and it starts to slow down, and eventually stops right on top of the crossing. My dad slows down the van, but continues driving. (And this is where it gets a bit glitched and hard to describe what happens.) As we are coming up to the train the van climbs over a part of it (like a monster truck with huge tire would) but as we are in the middle of getting completely over the train cab, we fall through the van (some kind of glitch happens and we are now under the train.) I am looking at the constructing of the trains wheels and there is this labyrinth type pattern. I am gazing into this maze, and I notice that it is patterned differently on each wheel. I feel like I somehow need to squeeze my body (or focus my energy) into this pattern? (I really don't even know how to describe the feeling of the dream at this point.. It was like a puzzle, I was stuck under this train... and the only way to escape was through these patterned openings within the trains wheels.)

~ I keep having dreams with my dad as the main character, I have not seen him in months, and haven't really had a true conversation with him in many years... I guess it's starting to really spill out of the depths now...I know i should talk to him, its just been so long, but the relationship needs to be healed, I know he will always be my dad, no matter what has happened between us, or how i've felt abandoned, I need to realize that he is still my father, and not judge him for how he has decided to create his life.

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