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biking into the ocean

I was biking to meet willis for some adventure – cliff diving I think. I left a house full of familiar family and heavy babies (the neighbor's baby that was like a block of awkward concrete- so hard to hold on to) and I packed some random things on my bike-i had my backpack filled with climbing gear, a raincoat tied to the bike basket, and there was a chair attached to the front of the bike with another bag hung over it. The bike was too small for me and I kept bumping my knees into the handles, and sometimes the handles would detach from the bike and bend forward and backward in such a way that I would totally lose control of the steering. At one point along the way, I was at an intersection where there was a red sports car that stopped, then started to go as soon as I was in front of it. I yelled at the driver (who was kind of a creepy old man) “get some eyes, asshole!” and as soon as I said that he stopped his car and just stared at me the for rest of the way down the street, which made me really nervous. Once he vanished from sight and the handles were properly attached to the bike, I was blissfully riding down a hill, the sun glowing in my face, and the open ocean rolling in from the distance. There was a kayak crossing the road and heading into the ocean, and as I approached I saw that the road dissolved into the shoreline. Part of me knew that continuing to fly down this hill would land me in the water, but I imagined it behaving like a puddle, just making an epic splash when I rode across it. I was so overcome with joy and speed and trust and believing that I rode right into the ocean, and was totally shocked when I crashed into deep water. I hit the water like it was a rock, was sent flying off my bike into a wave, and my bike and all the gear attached to it immediately sank in the murky water. My first thought was to retrieve my belongings..so i started diving down and feeling around for everything. I know that other people on the shore saw what happened, but I also know that I didn't feel embarrassed. I was so elated and exited by the experience that I was like “wow, guys, did you SEE that ??!! it was so awesome!!” I noticed a couple other people finding my belongings in the water, and i'd swim over to them and say “hey, thanks for getting that for me!” and each time they were surprised it was mine and reluctant to hand it over.. the ocean was so blurry, like it kept morphing back and forth from being crystal clear and deep to super murky and shallow. When I finally dove down for the bike, the ocean floor was a persian carpet, and I had to peel it back from the sand and feel into the bumps and wrinkles in it to find my bike. I made it out with all my stuff, and this man on the shore said to me: “Water makes people forget what's logical, it tricks you into drowning yourself in it. It lures you in and sinks you” and I knew he was right.
I tried to continue on to my destination, but it had become so obscured and abstracted by everything that happened along the way. The ocean turned into the playa, and I was still looking for my belongings in the sand that I had dropped In the water. I found a golden spoon and ran across the desert to give it to mirium. Eventually, I found willis and a whole bunch of other people, who were supposedly all getting ready for this cliff diving adventure that was about the happen, but everyone was done up in crazy costumes and running around to different little pods and clusters of friends and drinking fancy cocktails. I was trying to tell him about what had just happened to me, about how I was riding my bike so enthusiastically into the ocean, and he just laughed and laughed and laughed but also seemed really distracted, like he was paying attention to four different things and I couldn't tell what was making him laugh. I woke up still trying to tell him the story, but then he wasn't there..

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