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Cougar Kills Me But the Dream Goes On

10/20/11 - I'm in the kitchen of a house I've never actually been in, but in the dream it's very familiar. I find a stack of photos that I left in the kitchen on the stove, and I had spilled salt on them earlier and forgot to clean it up. There are precious photos of my brother, sister, mom, aunt, grandma...and they're all ruined because the salt has sunk into the photos and left pock marks all over them. I'm feeling so sad about this when my grandma walks into the kitchen. She finds an ant crawling along and picks it up to put it outside. Then she complains about how many ants there are here and what a problem it is. I say it might be because of the river/creek nearby.

I go into the backyard outside of the fence. I'm just walking along the fence when I hear something in a large tree inside of the fence. Suddenly I see it's a very big cat. Sort of a combination of a tiger and a cougar. It sees me and starts climbing down the tree and runs over to the fence where I am. I'm terrified and don't know what to do. I start moving along the fence and it bites my elbow. I'm crying and so scared. I try to climb into these bushes for protection but the cougar attacks me. I'm screaming for help. I see my grandma by the door of the house, and my mom, and nobody helps me. It's too late. I'm killed by the cougar. I reenter the house as a ghost and watch my family as they move on with their lives. My mom and dad are playing a game...

This transitions into me being there, hanging out with mom and dad while they play this game. I suddenly realize the time and it's 4pm. I panic because I can't remember what I've done today, and I ask my mom, "What have I done today?" Mom says, "You saw your friends for a little, then you've just been hanging out." I ask her, "Did I work at all?" and she says no, she doesn't think I did. I can't believe it! I was supposed to work and now I have a polarity treatment to do in an hour and I'm not prepared. I run upstairs crying. My mom follows but she is scornful behind me. I run into my room and cry, and I start to get ready. A little while later I'm outside in the back alley. I'm digging through the trash bins looking for my polarity books.

I'm watching a show and see people sleeping on a beach. I ask M if he wants to do this, and he says yes. Then we're sleeping on a sandy bank by the water. Later I go to school (high school). I'm in an office where I'm talking with several people. A man has gotten sick with diarrhea because of the water. He keeps running to the bathroom. I guess it's pretty bad. Later I get sick too and I run to the women's room at end of hall. There are a lot of girls in the other stalls around me. I don't want to let go because I'm embarrassed of the noise that I'll make. I'm holding it all in and waiting for a chance to be alone but I don't think it's going to happen. I go home and use the bathroom. Right afterward there's knock on the front door - mom and her friend have come with a dress for me. I invite them in reluctantly (the smell). They want me to try it on. I change into it and as I'm changing the friend says how skinny I am. I don't believe her. It looks pretty dorky at first, but then becomes this really cool pirate style dress with lots of straps and different fabrics and layers and it's really sexy.

I go out with the dress on. I'm walking with a woman who is having an affair. She goes out to a bush where here lover is hiding and has a rendezvous with him. A woman on a cell phone is talking to her and telling her she should catch the bus so she can be seen with other adults (I guess I'm not considered an adult here and I feel insulted and childlike). I'm walking around the cul-de-sac. There are cars lined up, including the bus, and people too. A woman standing nearby is sort of run over by a very large SUV (the bottom of which is so high that it just skims her head). I climb up high to where I can talk to the driver to tell him to be more careful of the people. We argue and it seems like it will get violent. Then I calmly and respectfully explain my position and he softens and agrees to be more careful. Next we're in a restaurant together talking it out. I think he says his name is Lee, but it's hard to hear. I say thanks and goodbye and get up to leave. Marcelo is at the next table and I see him say quietly as he stares at me, "I'm in love..." I'm wearing the sexy dress still and I'm very aware of how good I look. Matt is sitting at a nearby table and is also staring at me as I walk out. I'm aware of the unrequited love that I've inspired in others and I feel sad.

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