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Tidus Precognitive Forshadowing..

One night, I had a very vivid dream during the time Tidus was living with us in Burbank, that I was on the side of a road, sitting near a light post that I could see beaming down adjacent to my peripheral vision from in the middle of the night with my head in my hands, crying very hard and feeling enormous waves of pain and frustration about something.. Tidus came up behind me and put his hand on my back.. and in the dream, I was surprised but felt immediately comforted and grateful.. I woke up wondering what this dream could have meant.. when, the very next day, I realized what this poignant moment was..

We were out having dinner somewhere and I was super-hungry and just about to take a bite of my food when Anna started getting all upset about something, so I calmly told her to give me a second, to take a bite before addressing this, which was not quite as imminent.. I was on the other side of the table from her anyway so, I motioned to phil who seemed in a much more convenient position to assist her.. Then, for whatever reason, he just lost it and started getting very loud, attacking me for being lazy, 'why do you always do things like this??' and basically all these falsely projected statements that were not in any way, based on the reality of anything.. I was trying to remain calm, even though I was completely mortified, so confused that he was doing this, and completely baffled.. even though there were numerous times I have gone through this with him, not only were we in public, but Tidus was with us, whom I have respected for many lifetimes.. and I certainly wasn't pleased at having Any unnecessary drama in this space.. Tidus was Silent and Still and I believe his eyes got really big.. [like WTF?!?] I asked him to just drop it and calm down, and then he started getting really really loud!! I was actually silent and shaking a little bit at this point, and he continued to yell.. I slowly got up to just leave that space, [Anything to diffuse this explosive chaos] and I just walked through the restaurant and outside tears steaming down my face, still shaking, just trying to calm my body down with my mind.. I sent energy though my body to regain myself and remind myself to breathe deeply..

When I sat back down, phil had left, which I was immensely relieved.. I just sat down and held myself still and intended to send energy not only to Anna and Tidus, but also the entire room to diffuse this intense explosion, I sat there there very confused and really just overwhelmingly mortified.. I apologized to Tidus who had sighed and was quiet and keeping to himself, as Im sure I might have as well, and he shook his head and kind of scoffed like 'no..' and paused for a bit then said 'you didn't do Anything to deserve that.. I am sorry for You' and I appreciated that but possibly mumbled something like 'yeah I am used to it..' as I was in a state of shock and feeling quite drained, as well as upset with myself.. I couldn't help but sit there and cry, even though I Really didn't want to..

I have a hard time looking at people when I am crying, or even being around anyone[being Embraced is not something I am used to really] so I was looking and facing away from him when, in that moment, I felt his hand on my back shoulder.. just as in the dream, and Right then~ the vision of this dream the night before exploded into my minds eye.. I immediately knew why he had come to me like that in my dream.. I have a hard time with being touched when I am upset or embarrassed, and sometimes it has startled or scared me in such a way that I have immediately recoiled or strongly pushed the person away, even though that was the last thing I ever wanted to do, I would just get confused and emotional overwhelmed[Past trauma issues].. so I saw into a parallel dimension of this moment not going well at all in that way.. so he came back to let me know ahead of time that he was going to put his hand on my back, so that wouldn't happen that way.. and in the actual moment, as I was astrally pre-pared, I was able to accept this Loving gesture and turned around and hugged him, which made me release even more tears, but I was soo grateful for his presence and strength to do that.. It takes A Lot to approach a My Being when I am in that state of anger/panic, feeling alone, and trying to release something that can barely be recognized.. I mean, I have really hurt people who startled me in this state in experiences past, and it was a such a beautifully healing lesson.. at one point, while I was crying he said 'I wish I could take you guys away somewhere, like a beach..' and I didn't really say anything, but looked up at him and envisioned this as though we were already there..

AkhetKA~ Em Hotep! ~♥ ☥ ♥~

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