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inconsequential desire

I'm not sure how I can even begin to describe the dream I just woke up from... It's kind of private but I thought it was worth documenting anyway.. Just to get it out in the open, it was a sex dream. Now I hardly ever get these types of dreams so naturally it intrigues me that I would dream of such, seemingly out of nowhere.

Before I fell asleep, I was reading Nietzsche and really had no sexual desire on my mind. When I began dreaming however... my mind essentially made up my "ideal" mate. He was a quite type, with long, brown shoulder length hair and his frame was slightly larger than mine. He was kind of toned and gave off a rogue vibe. He didn't say much but somehow, he didn't need to; I knew him as intimately as I knew myself.

The first time we had sex it was nothing but I want you, you want me... let's do it. And so we did. It was nothing like real life sex where there is often pain, discomfort, insecurities... None of that was even possible. Only pleasure existed here, over and over again. Grabbing, touching, licking, biting---all the typical sex actions.

The second time, we did it on the floor of the master bedroom in my old house. I could feel the door to the bathroom above my head as we occasionally banged against it. Once we were finished, he rolled off of me and I stared at his body. I thought of how great it would be to climb on top of him and go at it again because in a dream, we could do that--no consequences, no waiting, no preparing.

Before we went at it a third time, he had a task for me to do. The setting was different this time, we were in the darkness of my present day room laying on my bed. I seemed to be tied down somehow, so I had no choice but to do as he wanted. The task I had to accomplish, before we could go at it a third time, was I had to eat an entire package of heart shaped candy--without the use of my arms. Seems simple, doesn't it? In real life, perhaps. But in the dream the candy seemed more difficult to consume than I'd thought. Every time I lapped at one, nothing would occur. It remained its original state, seemingly untouched by the progress I was trying to make. Still, I kept at it, ignoring his amused expression before I came to a realization that I could make the candy disappear any time I wanted.

And so I did, along with it my invisible restraints were off as well. However, instead of going at it a third time like I would have wanted to... I got distracted by a little black kitten prancing around my room. I told him to hold on while I fed him. The kitten was harder to capture than I'd imagined and I was woken from my dream by someone knocking at the door. Ironically, my mom had brought me the most delicious chocolate cheesecake to eat IRL, so I felt less bad about being awoken from one of the few sexual dreams I've ever had in my life.

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