Woke up this morning with the sunrise. I was happy that I hadn't slept in because the morning hours have always been the easiest times for me to get lucid. I had a shower and sang to myself under the hot water, washing away the anxiety-ridden dreams of the night before. (Dreams I won't bother to document any further. I'm really hoping that the less energy put into remembering them will mean the less they rule my life.)
Got back into bed feeling refreshed and hopeful. As I drifted off again I repeated to myself, "I will be aware that I am dreaming" over and over like a mantra. I feel asleep and was instantly lucid. Success!
I felt pure excitement, giddiness, elation, and was aware of deep belly giggles building up. I said to myself, "Stay calm. Stay calm. Keep breathing. Stay quiet." It was the first time I'd ever been aware of using my breathing techniques on the dream plane. I could feel my lungs filling like bellows. Taking in beautifully oxygenated air, again and again. The giggle fit lifted, and I was aware that I was in a space I shouldn't be in. That trespassing feeling that I'm all too familiar with it seems. I looked around, searching for something to trigger me as to my location. Saw a Hot Wheels mat that looked like mine, but as I approached, I saw that it was plastic. I realized that I was in the basement of the house I grew up in as a child. Suddenly, everything came into focus. The jumping bed. The mottled green shag carpet. The dark-as-mahogany wooden walls. The old sewing machine table with the wrought iron base. The old fireplace. The dark grey linoIeum that surrounded it. The room where I spent most of my waking hours as a child.
I began to walk around the room, touching everything. I was reminding myself repeatedly that "It was just a dream." I was very aware of strange energies moving around me in the room, but wasn't afraid at all.
I sat down and leaned into the Hot Wheels map. I looked down at the roadways and buildings drawn on the map, and felt myself shrink so that I was able to enter the fictional town. I was flying around, checking things out. Felt kinda like being in Zelda, with everything expanding around me, forests reaching out from beyond the outskirts of the town core, long corridors of hedges, huge doors with magical symbols, stone fortresses.
I was aware of there being some presence hovering above it all. A presence that was being disturbed by my explorations. I was aware that it was necessary to be very careful and precise with my movements.
I came up to a doorway, and as I drew closer, I saw that it was made of bricks, and starting to fall apart. I pulled on one of the bricks that was sticking out, and the door opened. I felt like an avatar in a video game. Not invincible though. Somehow I knew that if I didn't continue to move slowly and steadily, that it would be game over. And I wasn't ready to wake up.
As I came through the door, I saw a group of people, holding hands in a circle. I was filled with an overwhelming sense of what I can only describe as love incarnate. Love itself. Love beyond description. My mantra at this point was "You are safe. You are safe." I walked over to the circle and broke it between a woman and a man I vaguely recognized. I had no fear in doing so, and both of them took my hands and smiled at me peacefully.
I was aware of my heart chakra being worked on. It felt like a gaping wound was being sewn shut. The stitches were stitches of light, crossing over each other and coming down and around me.
It became really intense at that point, and I found myself wishing to wake up.
The first time I tried to come awake, I felt like I was awake, but my eyes wouldn't open.
Limbs numb and tingling.
I began to panic, and felt what I can only describe as a rolling black ball of energy on my chest. Still couldn't open my eyes.
Felt the ball press in deeper, and started to lose my breath.
Suddenly came awake with a painful start and rose gasping into my day.
This S@!* shoulda come with a warning.