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the yellow room.

Spent the night in my childhood bedroom last night. The room with the yellow walls. My brother told me that he'd had nightmares in the room next to it the night before, some of the worst of his life. Said they'd continued every time he awoke and then fell back asleep. I decided to investigate further on the dream plane.

The first dream I fell into, I was traveling with friends on a cart of some sort. An old friend of mine suddenly fell off of the cart and into the huge pit of what looked like quicksand. It was sucking her deeper and deeper. I jumped off and tried to grab her hand, but she was slipping away. Someone next to me told me that she'd died. I wasn't sure how we were supposed to continue on our journey.

Woke up crying and stunned. Thought I was in the Creek and called for my cat, but then I hit the wall with my arm and realized I was in my old bedroom. Turned the lamp on and read for a bit. (I was in the middle of a book that depicts some scenes from my Mennonite ancestor's epic journey out of Russia which probably explains the strange cart vehicle.)

Weird how the bad dreams seem to come in that house.

I remember being a child and waking from them and being really scared. I used to meditate on the soft glow of the lamp post outside. It would hum sometimes too... a curiously calming white noise that would soothe me until I'd fall back asleep. I remember thinking that the lamp post had magical powers, and when I was playing outside, I'd sit against it, thinking of stories. I'd pretend that it was connected somehow to the lamp post in Narnia.

Last night this didn't really work though. I went and got one of my mom's giant cats, and pet it until it fell asleep right on top of me.

No more nightmares after that, but when I woke in the morning, I had a series of memories come flooding back...

Remembered being about seven, and I kept hearing these weird clicking noises in the wall. Sometimes it would sound like strange creatures chattering. I told my parents night after night and I think we even got the walls checked for mice. No go. This was also around the same time that I started seeing "ghosts". I'd see orbs of light floating by my bed and out the window... sometimes they would pass through the door and I'd imagine them floating down the hallway. I'd always wake my parents, who would tell me it was nonsense. My dad would usually pray with me, but I'd feel just as scared. I remember taking my quilt and crawling downstairs to the "jumping bed" in the basement. I'd see them there too though, and then I'd freak myself out that they were lurking outside the windows. (Yes, my parents were pretty cool in many ways... we had a bed in the basement that was especially for jumping on so that we wouldn't jump on our own!)

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