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over 9 years ago
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yeah... no.

So I went and opened my big mouth yesterday to a friend, claiming that my nightmares were gone. My mind drifted to the sensual, beautiful and sometimes erotic dreamscape that I've been residing in as of late, and I smiled.

And what happened last night? Well, of course. Basically the worst nightmares I've had in a long time. I woke from the first one. I'd been just informed that my brother Boon was dead. Was relieved upon waking to find that it wasn't real, but still sobbed deep about it. It was a heartbreaking dream that I could recall when I woke up... just that he was dead.

Finally fell back asleep and ended up having another panic dream. The emergency sequence that is a recurrence of mine. Looking for keys, trying to get into the back walk-in fridge at the Boot to feed my friends, but can't find the key. Then the door is locked. Then I'm somehow pinned in the back hallway by a piece of the roof. Trying to make phone calls on static lines, no numbers will go through, I am redialing and redialing and panicking.

Wake up again. My chest feels like it's caving in. I breathe deep and bring some hot stones to bed to ground out. Fall into another dream on which I'm on a boat that is sinking. I'm trying to clean while the thing is going under... scrubbing the deck, but it's never clean enough.

Wake up way too early and decided to go sit in the cafe and read.

Nightmares suck. I have band practice tonite and then will be in the restaurant overnight cleaning the kitchen and repainting. By the time I knock myself out again, hopefully I'll be too tired to be running rampant through the dreamworld in my crazy fight or flight sequence.

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