i found an ad on craigslist for a motorcycle, south of the city, about 40 minutes from where i lived. seemed like a great deal for $75, so i went down to check it out. it was in a very rural area, located at a general store on a dusty, sunny day. i went into the store to buy a coke, and was directed out back where an old crazy guy named carl was dusting the bike off with a dirty rag. he explained that the bike was old and rusty, and had some trouble starting, but generally worked just fine. i paid the $75, he helped me get it started, and i drove home happy. it was a little scary at first, getting used to driving a motorcycle for the first time, but i seemed to do alright, and had a good time riding around.
two days later i found myself back in the dusty old town, so i decided to stop by and see carl, say hi and thanks for the motorcycle. was going to go into the general store for a bite to eat, but it was dark inside and closed at 2:30 in the afternoon, so i drove around back. waited a few minutes for carl to finish talking with some folks, and then we sat down for a conversation. carl says he wasn't too pleased with the way i'd been treating his bike - that i had ridden it over potholes, and drove it at speeds up to 110 mph, and he would like to show me a few pointers for a newbie cyclist. he took me out into some nearby woods and said to drive around for a bit here and learn how to drive. i didn't exactly cotton to what he'd said - i had been careful to avoid potholes, and sure i opened her up on the hiway a couple times, but not in an unsafe way, and anyway how does he know? has he been spying on me? he leaves me there in the woods with my bike and i start driving around. the dirt trail gets really steep, so i lean it against a rock to check out the terrain. looking around the corner and down a steep hill, i see a couple deep valleys where circles of men are practicing martial arts.
it's starting to get dark, so i drive out of the woods to another nearby tavern / inn to get some dinner and relax for a bit. i'm now with a couple of friends, so we decide to get a room and chill out for a minute. my friends get crazy drunk, steal some big multicolored jello cakes from a nearby shop, and use pastry bags to costume my obese friend so she looks like she's in some kind of fancy olympic figure skating outfit. they're funny but rowdy, and i kick them out so i can get some rest.
later i go into the tavern and sit down at a table with two local girls. they say they've got something important to tell me - carl has decided he wants his bike back, and his goons have taken it from where i parked it and brought it back to him. i feel sad and angry and calmly argue with the ladies - what makes him think he can just take a bike i paid for? i want $100 for it now. how am i supposed to get home, stranded 40 minutes south? they roll their eyes, but keep smiles on their faces as i get angrier and angrier.
