walking down a hallway, looking for my "lover"... I sense that in the dream I am a young, vulnerable girl. I was eating a half-cooked steak which had been found, and was eating it gratefully because we had very little money. My lover was earning a little money doing manual labor. I came into the labor yard, and it smelled like toxic chemicals. I wanted to work too, so we could have a little more money. He insisted that the exposure to chemicals would be too dangerous. I saw that they were processing and refining pieces of wood. He said he would come and find me after work and we could have sex. I became partially lucid at that moment and realized that he was an incubus, and that I should be very careful not to let him take my energy. He followed me into the hallway, took some of my steak, and then wrapped me in a blanket and dragged me down the stairs. I escaped and found myself in a sloppy-painted red room that I sensed had been mine since childhood. The arrangement of the room seemed very established. The incubus was there, but had now shifted shapes into Michelle Pfieffer. Who sat in the northwest corner and was giving me advice. I remember knowing that she was a succubus, but was intrigued and investigative of the things she was saying. I reflected on my transformation through Gnosis and how I wasn't going to be fooled by her, but noted how enchanting and appealing the situation was. She soon seemed bored and disapproving of me and said that the "saintly lover" (I knew she meant Geoff) that would soon come was "merely a stage of my sexual development" and that I should dismiss him.
I was examining the room and felt willing and eager to rearrange it into an art space and felt that rearrangement had not occurred to me for a very long time. Suddenly there was another actress, playing an old black slave man and giving a rambling monologue. I sensed kindness and politeness towards me. Soon they changed into a tiny crocodile and attacked my left calf. I struggled to get it off of me, and when I looked down it had shifted shape into a tiny elephant. The tiny ele-croc had bitten a pattern into my leg. I remember stopping and feeling the pain and thinking "It's only bottomless and without limit if you give into it" and feeling the pain as a gift and opportunity for observation. I was able to pluck the ele-croc off of me and flushed it down the toilet. Then I noticed the pattern it had bitten into my calf was the pattern of the bottom right corner of the Crowley Thoth deck 9 of Wands. I wished I had taken more pain to see more of the picture. I awoke feeling strongly that I must take on more difficulty in order to progress. In my current life, there is so much comfort. How will I keep moving out of my comfort zones to create higher manifestations of the Great Work?
Elephantile Crocodile
