Lunar Phase: Full to Half Waxing
I just got back from a ten day Vipassana retreat. Very interesting dream results were found. The deeper the metaphysical surgery went into the subconscious, the more terrifying the dreams became. I have not had nightmares of such a vivid and paralyzing nature since my teen years. After we broke noble silence on the tenth day, I found out that these nightmares were present with a lot of the students. (Even some who swore they haven't remembered a dream in 10 years)
Here is some of which I can remember:
Day 7 - It all started with me waking up from a weird dream, semi-disoriented. It was during the early morning meditations where I accidently dozed off during meditation. I heard my name being said in a loud female voice. *PING* I was WIDE awake and trying to understand if it actually happened. My room-mate was sound asleep, and she was the only person who was in the room.
Day 8 - A crazy boy was madly in love with me. He told his father that I loved someone else. I had to hide out in a house because they were trying to kill me and my true love. The father and son started to chase us down with shot guns, only planning to kill one of us for misery's sake.
Day 9 - I had another dream leak, it's been a while. I woke up with the feeling that there was another arm *just the arm* lying right beside me. When I started to enter back into Beta state, I realized the *lone arm* feeling was still right beside me. I freaked the eff out, all the while trying to maintain silence.
Day 10 - Bloody murder. Everywhere. Animals. People. Terror. I was observing some kind of horrific scene, no real dream story, just the horrific nature of it all.
Today - First dream out of retreat centre
My lovers Grandpa was staying with us. It took place well into the future when we had our land, our eco house and our wonderfully magical community of Cosmic Gypsies. His grandpa was very sick in my dream, and was hardly aware of his surroundings. I was eating chicken when he flew off of his bed and hovered madly over to me. Then in a terrifyingly heavenly voice boomed, "HOW IS THIS SHARING PEACE AND LOVE WHEN THESE CREATURES HAVE DIED IN TERROR AND MISERY??"
I was semi-lucid during the dream, but let myself realistically act it out as if I was unaware of my dream state.
My lover and I had moved into a bigger, more extravagant apartment. We had a beautiful kitchen much like the one I received in my meditation visualizations during Vipassana. However, it was only a half way point towards where we wanted to be. As if saying, 'almost' there. We were still in the city and did not own the apartment. My lover suggested that we explore the vents and so we joviously crawled through all of the airducts down and throughout the building. We started to get thirsty and found that we were in a vent that was located in the cafe at the bottom of the building. We slip out right into a booth and joke about how the server would be confused as to where we came from (being the air vent). We were so happy. Then all of a sudden I look over and my previous-lover was sitting in the booth across from me with another girl. I am wonderful friends with all of my old lovers, except this one. In fact, the last time I saw him in real life (a year after parting), I felt so sick to my stomach. Anyways, in this dream I quickly told my lover that we 'have to leave right now!'. He gets up, trusting my urgency and moves towards the door. As I carefully move out of the booth, trying to avoid getting noticed by ex, he suddenly grabs my arm very controllingly and tells me that he needs a word with me. I Yank my arm back. Then I introduce him to my new lover, who keeps a friendly but confused stance. Ex looks him up and down and says that 'this loser will never make you happy' your making such a big mistake. Then he grabs my arm again - I suddenly fill up with anger, my heart starts to beat a mile a minute which really shocked me since I still had the Vipassana memory, I grabbed his hair and hit him and yelled at him and told him that he was a loser and that I hated him. As I did so, I stabbed myself with his pencil in the arm, which only magnified my madness.
Suddenly I popped right out of the dream sequence to analyze my reaction. An external voice, yet my own, asked me if that reaction was promoting compassion and happyness? Suddenly I felt horribly and thought that I really treated my ex that way. I wanted to go back and tell him that he needs to find true love like I have, and that he needs to cut all ties with his mother who abuses him. All in all, I was so worried at this point that the dream was actually real and that I made Ex feel horrible. I finally was able to wake my self up and felt like crying.
I LOVE the magical magnificent nature of the MIND. P.S. I strongly suggest a Vipassana. It has really put many things into perspective for me.