The dream felt very real and had a bit of a somber note to it.
I had been chosen, or had volunteered to practice a bit of time/space travel. The process involved killing our bodies here, on this plane, while our spirits were taken to the next plane.
It was a lot like a gritty 80's film. At one point I think I was Jamie Lee Curtis. And the man who would be traveling with me was Arnold? In character, not size.
The plan was that we had to infiltrate a certain night club, where we would be able to set up the portal. After closing, we would enter the club, seal ourselves in, use a massive shot of DMT to take us out of body, while dynamite took our physical bodies. In limbo, we would be able to navigate wherever we wanted to.
There was an interesting energy with it because I was both nervous and sad to go but also felt a great sense of duty and strength in the completion of this mission.
The man with whom I would be traveling was not entirely a stranger, but I didn't know him well. He was tall and thin and tan and not very handsome. I felt a certain attraction to him, but more in the way that I felt safe with him as my companion. He was reliable and smart and strong. That was all I could ask for in a companion for such a task.
We spent a few days preparing. I would be working at the night club, which would allow us access to the more exclusive areas of the space. I let him in late one night. Dana was with him. He carried a long, dark bag filled with guns and black powder and wiring, among other things. His hands were filthy, especially his nails. There was something sexy about it.
He worked upstairs while I worked on clearing out my locker in the employee lounge. I wanted to make sure that I was leaving very little behind. I wanted to tie all my loose ends. I went upstairs to check on the progress. He had built the portal and rigged it with dynamite. We discussed some final details about how it would all go down on the night of. Then we parted ways.
My mom came to visit me with some other members of my family. Cousins? Aunts? We were driving around and I asked if we could stop at a garage sale that I'd been to before. I had a memory of accidentally leaving something here the last time I came. I perused the jewelry and sure enough, found a cheap, cheesy necklace that Dad had gotten for me when we road-tripped to Yellowstone when I was a kid. It wasn't very special in form, but the memory was intense and important. I didn't want to leave this earth without this necklace in my possession. But I didn't have any money. I found someone who worked there and explained that I had brought it in to barter with last time, but had left empty handed and had accidentally left the necklace. She seemed sympathetic, but had to refer me to her boss. Somehow I worked it out that I walked out carrying two heaping full shopping bags... and the necklace. There was a lot of circular arguing that makes no sense in the waking world but in the dream my logic was flawless. The necklace felt at home around my neck.
As we headed back to the car, my mom started in on giving me a bunch of shit about how I was caring for myself. She told me that I smelled bad. It felt like the times that she criticized my hair or told me I was overweight in a poisonous tone. It cut deep and it hurt. I was trying to run away from her. I cruised through the city, walking as fast as I could. But she was always in step, keeping up with me even when I tried to lose her in a mass of people. She told me that Keira smelled bad too and that she thought it was because of how we lived our lives. There was a point where I was sitting down and mom was tying my shoe (I was a kid again for a moment). Mom told me that I smelled like stale blood. That was the last straw. I took off running and made it back to the night club without her company. I didn't get a chance to say goodbye to her but right now it didn't matter.
There was a show going on, so I sat in the club, casually hanging out. It was an ultra-divey place. It was greasy and dusty and dark. Outside, people reveled in the streets, in costume. Finally my companion showed up. I saw his dark bag first, then he appeared in the window. I was glad he was on time. I never felt rushed. He was just as prepared and present as I. He set down his things and talked with Dana while I busied about making final preparations. I had to kick some people out of the upstairs. They were dreadfully close to the Dynamite and getting curious. I swiftly got them to leave, and secured the upstairs and back room - all without seeming too suspicious. I had good excuses for everything.
Back downstairs, I took my seat back at the bar, in wait. Companion had left and I sat watch over his bag, which he'd left in the middle of the floor. I turned around to see a man, stooped down, reading from a journal that belonged to Companion. It was a beautifully ornate book, with filagree on the cover that was deigned to look like stamped leather. I hopped down and wooed the man into releasing the book to me. If anything were written about our plans tonight, our cover could be blown. I returned the journal to the bag and went outside to find Companion. He was just coming in. I told him about the journal and then asked if we could step out for a smoke to kill time. I figured, if I was dying tonight, I may as well enjoy some last-minute vices. Out on the street, there were people everywhere. We went to the corner where I was offered a cigarette that was fancy and had long, vertical lines of red. Dana took one and Companion scattered a few on the ground. I began to smoke mine, observing the mass of people moving around me. Dana took his and broke the filter off and jetted the tobacco and used the empty tube for free-basing crack off another cigarette. Didn't make a lot of sense but I was disgusted. Fortunately, the plan didn't work and the whole thing lit up in his hands and he had to drop it.
I looked at my Companion. Time was closing in. I went back inside the nightclub to try and act casual while I finalized preparations. The bands were over and people shuffled around, carrying out equipment, shutting the place down for the night. I waited patiently. Outside, I could see festivities in the streets growing. There was a casualty and a stretcher moved in front of the window. Dana was on it, his face mutilated into a freakish smile - with holes where his eyes should have been. Without our back-up, Companion and I realized we would need to trigger the explosion ourselves. The only problem with this is that there would be a possibility that we wouldn't be out of body enough when we died, to be able to properly travel in limbo.
In another room, I found my Companion shirtless, lotioning? his richly tanned skin. His skin was beautiful and soft, over a well toned frame. I removed my shirt as well, to find that I was the same shade of tan. In the dream I remembered that I'd just returned from being in Hawaii for several weeks. I was also in great shape. We compared tan-ness. It was a sweet moment. Every moment now was sweet because they were the last and I wanted to savor every one. I wasn't scared or nervous, but rather, really present and appreciative of every detail. We psychically ran through the plan one last time before I broke to go upstairs. Other staff of the club were becoming a little upset that I was so firm about keeping people off the top floor. I would kick anyone out who even tried to come up the stairs.
It looked like the plan would be changing, though. Our detonator was now dead and the club wasn't clearing out fast enough. People were lingering. Another band even came in to set-up for practice. I realized we were going to have to make the jump with people around. But I couldn't think about it because I had too many other things to worry about.
My alarm clock went off. I snoozed it.
Companion was on his way to me and we were about to step into the portal. It was a tight squeeze into a sewer-like tunnel. We would be rigged up to receive a massive dose of DMT, straight into the heart, closely followed by the explosion that would tear apart our physical bodies. Our spirits would then be free to travel and re-insert wherever/whenever we chose.
I took a moment to visualize what Limbo looked like. In my mind's eye, it was a place just above the clouds, where the sky was a bright blue and the sun was shining. From there, we would be able to travel to anywhere, in any time. We didn't know where we were going, but we knew we would be together. Even though I didn't know this man well, I trusted him and felt a certain kinship with him. I looked forward to getting to know him, as we would very soon by launched into a powerful journey together.
