This dream has been lingering in my immediate memory all day. Every now and again I get a wash of feeling and image from the dream that had me in its emotional grips as I woke, early this morning.
Though the characters and motivations have long since slipped from memory, the emotion and imagery remain in the forefront of my inner thoughts.
I was at Pilchuck, in the hot shop. I was vaguely aware that there was a demonstration going on, involving Dale Chihuly. I don't remember if I've ever seen Dale Chihuly in the hot shop, but the dream felt like reliving a memory, because of the accuracy of the details. I didn't just imagine myself there, I really felt like I was there. Someone eyed me like they wanted to ask me if I was lost or needed anything. Before he could ask, I explained that I'd been here before. He asked how many times and I told him that I'd lived there for 9 years.
I looked around, searching for someone I knew. As I observed the surroundings, the immediate area was completely familiar and yet different from when I was there last.
I had various interactions with several people. Then I noticed the view. Over what would have been the western view of the horizon, over the top of the tree line, was a glorious skyline of the city of Seattle. It was as if I were looking out over the city from the North side of Beacon.
I was amazed that the city was so close, and filled with immeasurable joy that it would now be possible for me to live up here on the mountain, but still be within functional proximity of Seattle.
Someone asked me if I would ever leave and this struck an emotional chord. I was feeling so at home. In the dream, I think I remarked to myself that I was amazed I had been away from my home so long and now I felt like I'd found it again.
The thought of leaving there, or not coming back welled up in me with a momentous stir of emotion and this is what has followed me into the day.
I know now that it was just a dream, but the whole day has felt colored like faded corduroy. It's familiarity is comforting. But the feeling of loss that accompanied waking from the dream (this ideal place I'd found) lingers hollow.