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Speaking Clearly and with Force...

I had a powerful transitory experience two days ago and its effects have been resounding since. I felt as if I shed an enormity of weight, in the form of layers of self-doubt and self-judgment. Without these layers, I've been able to speak more clearly and to the point. On one hand, this is amazing and feels great to be able to communicate with direct force, devoid of the emotion that would otherwise lead me to sugar coat or censor my communication. On the other hand, I feel that this knew clarity is not without a need for tact and possibly future damage control. Speaking directly doesn't always arrive well and bears the risk of insult or later regret. Still, I'm pleased to have this clarity and will strive to wield this power responsibly and respectfully.
Last night I had the opportunity to practice this communication. I had needed to arrange to pick up some money that was due me, but for a week or more, I'd skirted the issue when making plans to meet my debtor. We'd talked about hanging out and meeting for a beer. But the distance between us seemed greater than just geography. Last night I'd waited 2 hours for him to arrive, updated sporadically by text-messages that gave me a play by play of his snail's pace through the city. I was chewing off my own leg by the time he alerted me that he was less than a mile away. I decided that I couldn't afford to hold back any more. In my most deliberate and honest tone, I reminded him that 2 hours ago, he'd said that he'd be there in a couple of minutes. I could tell by the change in his tone that chronic lateness had been a life-long problem and by bringing it to his attention now, he turned into a 15 year old being reminded by a parent, or a teacher, or a girlfriend. Suddenly he was coming up with a million excuses about how we could just meet another time - He felt so bad about holding me up.
This wasn't going to fly. I took a deep breath and dove right in. (This is not my style.)
"I really need to meet with you tonight. I guess I just need to vocalize it to make sure we're on the same page - You owe me money and I'm desperate for money right now. If we don't meet tonight, its not going to happen. I don't want to wait any more so why don't you tell me where you are and I'll come to you."
I'd just unleashed a tidal wave and it felt amazing. I realized that despite not knowing how it would be taken, the truth felt so good to voice. My breathing was shallow, but my heart rate was normal and I didn't feel anxious or worried, like I normally do when speaking directly.
It was a monumental event that I know was brought about by the clarity of the chemical experience two days prior.
The rest of my evening flowed smoothly and my dreams reflected this new communication with a curious metaphor.

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