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Communication is Key...

I don't know how much my epic conversation with Susy last night prepared me for my dream just now but they feel intrinsically tied.
I dreamt that I saw James. I've not seen him in several days, (unusual) nor heard from him (even more unusual) and in my dream we were hanging out for the first time. What strikes me about this dream is that it was a conversation - in fact the first dream of its kind that I ever remember having.
James wanted to bake a cake for his mom's birthday, so we went to the house of a friend of his. At first, no one was home. We were flirting as I was getting excited after not seeing him for so long. As the interest mounted, he said, "Lola, I have to tell you something." And the conversation began. He revealed to me that he slept with a woman - Margaret, whom he works with at the museum. I reacted with disappointment, drawing myself in. The first question I asked was, "Do you still like me?" He replied by informing me that he assumed I was disinterested in him due to my lack of contact with him in the weeks prior. Here, I became angry, or at least strongly expressive, which felt good because I ordinarily have a great deal of trouble with this emotion, but in the dream I was handling it honestly and gracefully. I shouted, "But I've been trying to get ahold of you!" I then gave him a concise time-line of each attempted point of contact (calling, text messaging), as well as the feelings I'd had and the quality of the interactions that had taken place.
He clearly felt conflicted now, because he's formed an attachment to Margaret, in the assumption that I was out of the picture. I was sad and expressed it in my body language but didn't shut down (my usual emotional response.) He expressed surprise and disbelief when he realized I'd put so much effort in. "You really think about me that much when we're not together?" He sounded flattered. "Yes, of course James," I reassured, opening up a little bit to him. I was still hurt, disappointed, saddened, but I never shut down. It was an amazing feeling.
Suddenly, people who lived in the house came home and despite their presence, James and I continued our candid conversation. They were smoking a bowl and watching T.V. but their presence as coincidental witnesses emboldened me to speak my truth. I felt on the verge of tears a couple times, but I was too angry to let the sadness take over. James heard me well and spoke very honestly. I went off on a tirade about his actions and my feelings. I don't recall if he rebutted. Near the end of the conversation, I reached a point where I didn't know how I was supposed to conclude. I related the story of Tim and Shana's marriage and how it was emboldened by their commitment to honesty and clear communication and noted how I even heard her voice coming through me at times.
James' cake was done baking and we found ourselves at a crossroads. He said he had an errand to run the next day and asked me to take off work so I could join him - a way to spend a little more time together, to do more talking and figuring out conclusions. At the end of the conversation, I was left with several emotions. I was bummed, but wanted to congratulate him for at least being honest (despite the un-timeliness of his efforts to contact me). I felt sad and angry still, but felt good accepting these emotions and granting myself space to feel them. I felt like I wanted to forgive him and embrace "All is well" and grant him back his halo but I decided I needed to phase through the other emotions, instead of burying or discrediting them. He needed to be in the doghouse for a while to fully realize his mistake (not in sleeping with her, but in failing to communicate with me sooner and therefore assuming my disinterest in him.

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