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Missing Kitten...

Just when I thought life couldn't get any more challenging, my cat went missing last night.
I finally got to sleep around midnight, but it was a fitful rest. Every sound I heard rocketed me awake. I was hyper-aware to every sigh and hush of wind in the trees, or rain on the window.
When I finally dreamed, it was the same dream over and over again...
Boudika came crawling out of the bushes, hurt but alive, and came to cry at the window.
At 4 am, I woke fully and just stared out the window, listening, watching for any sign of movement. At 6, I couldn't take it any more. I went out and wandered the streets, calling for her. A few blocks away, a cat darted across my path that looked exactly like her. But I don't think it was her. This cat was skittish and its tail was dragging on the ground. Boudika is always so loving and happy to see me. Her tail stands straight up when I'm around.
At 7 I returned home, emotionally exhausted and physically drained.
I fell back asleep and dreamt that we were still living in this shithole, but it was a little nicer. Dan had bought a new refrigerator and some kitchen appliances. He had also started to hang some things on the wall, so it felt much more homey. We had company - family. I know there were members from both sides, but the only one I remember was my grandma. She was completely blind and I had to guide her around the kitchen into the living room so she could sit down. In the dream we were looking for Boudika around the yard and the immediate neighborhood, but she was nowhere to be found.
I feel like my life is falling apart and I don't know how to save it.

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theta b3.0
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