I was asked to make the Eulogy speech at my mother's funeral. I didn't feel that she was really passed, since I didn't have a feeling of sadness or loss. But I was responsible for addressing the crowd of people who'd arrived to pay their respects. The "father" who was presiding at the service was a young fellow with strawberry blond/orange hair. He had an energy that I couldn't read, but I got the feeling that his was a less strict faith than most. He wore long, black robes and followed me around everywhere.
When it came time to deliver the Eulogy, I was caught off guard and hadn't prepared anything, so I decided to read aloud from a book that someone had given me. It had passages and poetry that spoke to me and I thought it would be nice to share with everyone. I found the pages that I wanted to read, but then faced a new obstacle. I had gum in my mouth. And not just a little, but a huge, sloppy mouthful. I had so much gum in my mouth, I couldn't chew it. I just mulled it around, trying not to drool on myself - trying to find some position that would allow me to talk. It was next to impossible. I had so much gum in my mouth, I couldn't breathe properly and I felt as if I was choking.
I was frustrated because everyone was waiting on me and I really really wanted to read these pages. I woke up feeling like I'd let them all down and my mother as well.
In retrospect, I know that I was lying face-down in my pillow. From experience, this almost always results in dreams where I'm drowning or my breathing is otherwise compromised. But there was something else that I think is curious about this dream. To me, it tells me that I'm having difficulty with communication. I want to speak, but I'm unable. This could not be more appropriate for what I'm dealing with right now. Just two days ago, I had a talk with my boss and it was brought up that I need to be pulling my weight a little more. Despite the fact that I am, in fact, fulfilling the stated work requirement that we agreed upon before I came onboard, I think he was venting his own frustrations about rent, bills, etc... But instead of reminding him of our former agreement, I remained silent. This failure to communicate has been haunting me since. Though I intended to bring it up yesterday as well, I wound up clamming up and avoiding the issue. Hence, a dream with a mouthfull of gum.