loading
indigolola
240
35
starlight
266846
journal
12 years ago
entries
remember
processing
home
rest
asleep
morning
sleeping
moment
living
day
made
room
woke
memory
feeling
night
1907
Memory Losses? Proper Processing? Living in the Moment...

I haven't been able to remember falling asleep these last few nights. Usually, when I wake up in the morning, I have some recollection of the night before. Even mundane memories seem to make it in - like if I forgot to floss, or who fed the cats.
This morning, when I woke up, I had a moment of near panic. My eyes opened to the same room I wake up in every morning. But I didn't know where I was. Thankfully, that feeling faded fast and I was soon back in my familiar surroundings. My waking dream had been especially vivid and I carried a shade of it into my day as I got up, went to the bathroom, got dressed, all in time with my usual routine. The part of the dream that lingered was a shiver of a feeling - one I cherished, despite its rapid decay. In the dream, I had been loved and pursued by many people throughout, and the feeling gave me a high that carried me far into the day.
When I smelled coffee being made, it triggered another familiar feeling - my hungry morning belly. But when I went into the kitchen, a strange realization hit me as I tried to recall what I'd eaten for dinner the night before. My mind was a blank. I couldn't remember anything past leaving work and getting on a bus to go home. In fact, it took me most of the way through the day to remember that I hadn't gotten on a bus destined for home, but rather had accompanied a friend to her home, then walked to mine from hers. It took me even longer into the day to remember that I had made dinner and we'd had a guest over. I'd also forgotten that we then went to the ice-cream shop and eaten more ice-cream in one sitting than I normally eat in two months. My work day was almost finished before I remembered sitting down in the living room chair and falling asleep - something I never do - before Dan woke me and brought me to bed.
Dan told me this morning that he'd had his arm fall asleep during the night and accidentally landed it on me as he (half awake) tried to revive it. He told me he was certain it would have woken me up but that last night I didn't budge. This is how I've been sleeping lately. I think the term is, "like a log". It feels good. I know I need the sleep, so I'm glad I'm getting it... but the memory thing is a little strange. I wind up feeling like the guy in "Memento". I have some vague skeletal notion of what I'm doing with my life, but I feel like I'm running a hamster wheel that cycles through sleeping, eating (sometimes), working, and sleeping. The rest is just details, lost to the ether. My processing speed can't keep up. I only log the important stuff. The rest of the time, I'm just living in the moment.

day
dream dictionaries
morning
dream dictionaries
night
dream dictionaries
remember
dream dictionaries
memory
dream dictionaries
sleeping
dream dictionaries
home
dream dictionaries
room
dream dictionaries
theta b3.0
random dream...
Join now!