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An E Fueled Pool Party and Adult Disapproval...

Dreamed that I was at a huge party that was at my grandparents' house. I recognize now that this is a rote theme. But I'm still uncertain what it's representing. I don't have much of a relationship with my g-parents. Maybe having parties there is like I'm wanting them to get to know the more social/casual side of me, rather than the button-up, polite, reserved me, they've always known.
Either way, the party was huge and attendees included friends and family members alike. There was a massive storm outside. Hurricane? The wind was threatening anything not tied down, including parts of the house. We spent a lot of time running around and battening down the hatches but eventually it got late and everyone was exhausted and it wasn't much of a party yet, since we were all in survival mode.
Too tired to keep up with the social energy, the adults (family members) began removing themselves from the party. I could tell they were irritated and I felt bad for inviting this much of a crowd, but at the same time, I was having a blast and was excited to take the party deeper into the night. Eventually, the adults quarantined themselves in half of the house. I discovered this when I went to go check on them and found the kitchen door barricaded with crutches. When I opened the door to peek in on them, the crutches collapsed and fell all over the floor and the adults were again disturbed. I was embarrassed and I could feel their frustration in me. I told them I just wanted to make sure everything was fine and they said it would be fine if we'd just leave them alone. So I did.
I went back to the party and people seemed to be having a grand time. The family room was now a pool room, with rope swings hanging from the ceiling. People were taking turns swinging out and jumping in. It was awesome!
I came out with an Altoid's tin filled with E pills. I broke them all in half cause I knew they were strong and didn't want people getting too crazy. I just thought it would be a nice little nightcap and allow us all to hunker down and get cozy. There was someone in particular I wanted to introduce this chemical to - giant Jason. He was having a hard time, as always, being open and friendly and social. He's so self-conscious of his size that he's very socially awkward. I hoped that will a little chemical persuasion, he might see that if he were to just open up to others, others would open up to him. Most people were pleased to participate. John M balked at first that this is "not how I take my drugs." He went on to explain that he prefers to start much earlier in the evening, and have better music options available. But as I conceded and walked away with the tin, he turned around and grabbed one anyway. Jason took one as well and with that, nearly everyone at the party would be rolling in no time. I went to put the tin away and figure out where my bed was going to be, in case I got tired but was too high to make clear decisions.
I vaguely remember the attentions of a cute guy. I hadn't met him before but he was friendly and mysterious and provocative. When I returned to the party, I saw chaos. People were having fun, but the E had brought out everyone's unabashed desires and all were having to navigate the whirlwind of mixed emotions. Jason was coming on a little too strong to Natasha and, as usual, she was mustering all her form and grace to convince him that he should just relax and feel good - that it wasn't about getting laid. I went over to check in and try and help the situation, but on the way I got distracted by wanting to play in the pool again. In the midst of the fun and excitement, I found Jason, alone, in the middle of the pool. I went over and asked him how he was doing. "I've never felt more alienated in my whole life." My heart broke. That wasn't my intent at all. Immediately I knew we needed to have a circle. As I was trying to figure out how to announce this, some of the adults began walking around the pool, leaving for the night. They looked at us in disappointment and shame, shaking their heads as they wandered by. Then I realized that the pool water was no longer a comfortable temperature. It was cold and there was a layer of scum visible at the water line. The water was dirty and gross. I was the last one out, feeling down that the adults had no tolerance for our fun and had only been pestered by us all night. It was a real killjoy.
I have a faint memory of someone trying to console me. It felt like Dan. I remember the softness and the smell of his shirt when he hugged me. That much was Dan. Maybe I was hugging him in my sleep - we often wind up wrapped around one another. I still felt bad about Jason, but I hoped that he was getting something positive out of it.
I fought to stay in the dream because I wanted to help him. I kept trying to go back, but it was no use. Morning was sweeping out my subconscious and the kitties were calling for breakfast.

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