i dreamt that there was this girl who swore that I loved her and had divulged secrets to. I had no memory of it, but then she told me things that only I would have known.
Kyle & Carter spoke about nights where they would 'fuck every one at the bar.'
Kehoe and Stefan were there too. there was a scene where I was sitting outside a door at my old school, and Carey shows up and I say hi- and she says "damn, you're fine." to which I respond "i haven't heard that expression since I saw you last."
I kept missing the same 'meeting' with this girl. seemingly 'after school.' she said something about worrying about my ability to travel... or something...
the moment where I began to believe that we had made this connection and that she loved me, I sat with her and laughed and laughed, cuddled and held hands. all the while so many of these girls from my past are just going about their lives, occasionally stopping at the railing on a floor above us to admire or chat/gossip while looking at the two of us in this chair.
at some point while in this unity-cuddle-puddle, I break out into obnoxious laughter, and Mollie comes up and says, "HEY! we get it, alright?" and then I go silent and just smile and close my eyes in appreciation of this love-bliss. wow, I don't know how it went from that to where it goes next...
I had to go back into the dream after waking up several times.
it was weird receiving this feeling of being loved and admired but seemingly knowing nothing of the other person... not even being able to recognize their face. conversing with her, her face would shapeshift... and it would range from beautiful to grotesque.
at the same time I was chosen to be part of a music ensemble for a show. some kind of 'teen soap.' but they had called me there to audition to be an actor, but while waiting to do that, they revealed that I had already been chosen to be part of the music ensemble.
there's another scene where it's raining through my 'dorm window' and a lot of water gets through.
there's also a scene where that girl who supposedly loves me completely changes her attitude and basically starts to avoid me. ahahaha oh man, there's this scene where she's another species, like insectoid/plant/alien and I'm going to meet her-- when all of a sudden another one of her species shows up getting out of this van, and she's like... goo goo ga ga over him--- says "this is my personal trainer." the morphology of that species is kind of interesting-- it's reminiscent of some video-game zombie/monster... where its chest/torso is a big mouth, and it has these spiked arm-tentacle deals, more rigid/insectoid than octopus/squid-like. bah, I dono how that would appeal to me aesthetically in real life.
I remember too that after this shift, I began to look for her in the usual places and also saw her avoiding me. Knowing that it was "over," I ask Kyle if he's got a smoke for me, and I see Flan & some people breaking out their yellow packs of American Spirits and I ask him if I can bum one. At which point everyone around goes silent and then looks at me. It's such an awkward feeling -- shameful even... Stefan who is next to me says, "You're done." and so I hang my head and he walks me back to my room -- this takes place before the rain through the window.
WHAT IS GOING ON IN THIS DREAM?! ...