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9 years ago
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Babies and lockdowns

I was living in this amazingly high tech house with top of the line
technology. Jadyn and I were alone and it was getting dark. I began to
lock the house down which entailed snapping down many windows in this
3 step ball like closures together. At the second
window I began to feel like it was myself I was locking in and felt an
overall sense of someone trying to jail me. House security
presence came into view outside the home and attempted to reassure me
all was well they were there for me. Over an intercom they stated
something along the lines of people usually being concerned about
feeling as if they are being locked in and how they always get that at
first and stated they would come in and explain. I was taken back by
the sense of them trying to take advantage, knowing if they
wanted to, wouldn't it be in their interest to try and comfort me and
hope I invite them in with trust? Dream broke off into the super
maternal me with a house full kids I was responsible for on top of Jadyn. I
was pregnant and thinking it was time to have the baby but knowing it
wasn't. I went to stand in line with other pregnant mothers ready to
deliver. They made comments amongst themselves about how it was not my
time. I noted how small my belly was but how weighed down I had
felt. Seeing the doctor he confirmed I still had some time to go but
that I was homing a beautiful perfect little girl whom at that time
visually ran her arm and hand under the mound on my belly, excitingly
I commented to the doctor about how perfect the shape gave, knowing
she would be flawless. I returned home to discover Jadyn had found the
stash of electronic flying helicopters and opened two. I was torn
between tending to the much neglected chores I felt weren't my
responsibility, as it was just the kids lack of attentiveness to their chores, and devoting my full attention to Jadyn. I
decided that he was entertaining himself just fine and that I could
keep an eye on him and clean at the same time. As I was sorting the
dishes I noticed he had got back into the electric helicopters and
opened them all, upset with him because they were gifts I was planning
on surprising him with for Christmas.

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