I took several hits of hash. I wanted to use the medicine as a healing tool. A meditation aid for the night’s session. Lady Ganga would help me with my intention to take some time and nurture myself. Comfort myself. To make my time here…every moment to be “glorious” as the “Spartan” spirit conveys. This would help my lower chakras. To live life gloriously… because glorious moments are always better. As soon as I put the bong away, I went to sit and meditate, when Lady Ganga Appeared, and urged me to do a spin. One like fashion models do out on the runway. I took a few stylish steps forward, after doing my 135 degree turn to the left. I took another turn, and continued to repeat this pattern, walking in a square path around the room. I let loose in order to help merge with the spirit of Lady Ganga, who appeared as a pretty fairy lady in the depths of my vision. I began to just walk and sway my hands in a natural fashion. She carried me into a state of deep calm with compassion. She appeared in the center of my view, and in the rest of my view, the colors of the room seemed to bleed away, like paint on a canvas, they all turned to pink swirls. She reminded me to pray-that everything was O.K. I went deeper into the dance, holding 3 stones. A pink one, brown one and black one. The first two for nurturing, and the second two for grounding/calming. Spirit told me; and I felt that I was a little “heavy” with my movement. I spread the 3 stones out on the couch and felt one at a time. I felt the pink “YUP” … felt the bR0WN, Mmmhmm …and then the black..nope..too heavy. I immiately continued to dance, and it became very sweet. I continued to dance unanimously, and started to feel real silly. Then I started to feel real scared. A little scared because it felt so damn good, I was afraid to let myself have it. Again, I prayed for love and detatchment from the fear [see, you must detatch from love as well to make it work] I went much deeper into the dance than ever before. Dragon emerged and taught me through the language of the gods. A clear, precise message of Laying off of yourself. Letting yourself be at ease. Allowing yourself to claim our birthright- which is to feel as ease. “To let it be sweet as all hell.” Dragon appeared in my consciousness, I decided to ‘jump on his back’ so to speak. It was as if I was soring across his back as I walked around the room in a suddenly very different fashion or manner. The dragon that is connecting with me has an older, masculine energy. A chinese style dragon, showing mostly black and orange, with some red colors. I hear him‘gruff’ and see him snort smoke. His style says to not let yourself of others ‘get on your back’ about anything. Do not discomfort yourself for the sake of others, out of love. To wisely respect yourself and your process of growth. “ no one is perfect…because everyone is perfect” .
I began to curiously switch back and forth between the two energies rather quickly, noticing immediate shifts in my gaze and posture to go along with it. I began to hold both energies in my consciousness simalteanously, and balance them. Dragon was down low more, and the pink fairy energy was above it. The top part of the room was tinted pink, and the bottom half or part was tinted orange. The line that was formed at the junction of the two would teeter up and down as I worked to find balance. I melded the two. My dance became methodical. I was breathing loud and hissing in patterns along with the movements. I felt the warm, dry energy of the dragon, and the soft, swooning energy of the pink. I balanced them to the best of my ability and pushed further into the trance. There was an internal struggle between extreme fear and bliss as I steadily continued the process. A Knight with white shining armor and a red feather in his hat appeared in the mirror when I turned. I took the cue and released myself some more into the Knight energy. I allowed the patterns of movement and breath to change along with the visions and sensations. I could feel his cold, hard armor, and hear his sword clashing with metal. I could feel his triumpth and pride.
Soon, the grand, powerful , and spacious silloutte of Lord Shiva appeared in the horizon. He was backed by blue and yellow light. Another possibility was clearly presenting itself to me. I chose to pursue the avenue of this new dimension. I shot into the “hallway” of Shiva, and he grew before me, like a life sized reflection in front of me. He had a tall, grand posture with large shoulder pads sticking out and curling upward in either direction. He shows long and stringy hair. As our frequencies tune into one another, I feel a steady blast to my 3rd and 6th curcuits. The intensity spikes, and my field of view expands nearly all the way behind me. I could see nearly in a 360’ view around me. I see the shadow of a man in my peripherals, and I am startled by it, pausing the dance. I quickly decide to not pursue any further. I retreat back to the couch, heart racing, cuddling up with sattva and mrs. Fairy. I remember that I need not push myself too far. That would be punishment. I forcefully ground back down and shut out lord Shiva. Lady fairy feels much sweeter-Shiva and his power is scaring me. I comfort myself and find love.
I start stroking sattva, trying to send love into her. It slowly intensifies, and comes to a ‘lip’ or spike. Sattva is startled at this very same moment. She perks her head up and I break my focus out of fright. I think “wow!” and immediately continue the love connection. She stares back at me, seeming “pleasantly surprised and confused at first. I begin to see the spirit side of her, which looked like a more cartoony or ‘dreamy’ looking version of her. I was seeing her in a different light. She appeared to have a glow kind of like the moonlight gives you. I carefully switched my view back and forth between worlds…The her physical self was sitting by my butt on the couch, and her spiritual side seemed more in the clouds. The two sides of her shared the same head space, although the spirit side of her I saw in a different pose- her body was up above the space where her physical body was. Her spirit side faced 45degrees away from her physical body. My third eye pressure swelled in between phases. The dog strangely became like a new dimensional reflection of me. I knew I was making a psychic link with her. I wanted to communicate my love for her. I soon got a jingle about our relationship. She is humbly afraid of me. She feels she has to be a bit careful around me. I felt such a deep and synchronistic understanding about it…because…at that moment? I was humbly afraid of what was happening between me and her! I was seeing a double image of her. They shared the same headspace, but the body of her spirit was in a totally different pose. I was humbly frightened. I felt an incredibly warm connection between our hearts. I felt them sink into each other. Once I had enough, I stopped. I feel like we cleared up the miscommunication- I think she understands now that I only mean for the best between us.
I get up and walk to the computer, wanting to share the Orgone Amulets on facebook. I have a feeling that I am doing or perhaps I have done something, or just that something in general is “WRONG” .I sit down at the computer chair “ “Youre never wrong” announces the animals voice in my head. I slip into lion spirit, as I sit back down. I stretched my jaw, closed my eyes, and the clean, vast vision of lion melds together with a bright, big wildcat head. I felt the slick fur of the cats, followed by the strong jaw of the the tigers face that peered back at me from the computer+desk when I opened my eyes. I felt powerful as a lion. We made a ‘love’ly spiritual connection. The point was to never trick yourself into thinking that anything is ever ‘wrong’. This created an intense hot and buzzing feeling. I sank heavily into it, and quickly caught myself out of un-sure-edness. I kept focusing to recreate that feeling, even after the cats disappeared.
