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Babies, Wargames and Two-Headed Horses

I was younger and just married to my first husband and I had my three children already. We bought an old rickety run down house, a single family dwelling in the mountains but the deck was sturdy and angular and large. The owner was working on the deck when we came upon the house and discussed buying it from him. The rest of the house was in disrepair, cluttered and dirty. We grew older there and the house became clean , simplified and light-filled.

As we grew older there, my grown, married daughter was pregnant and about to have a baby. she was round and beautiful. She had more than one baby while we lived there. I also had more babies or perhaps I was drifting in time.

There came a time when we started seeing dead animals in the countryside on the mountains. We didn’t know why there were dead animals. There were also many strange animals including three birds that came onto our deck. They had a name: “the three finches,” almost as if they were a comedy group. One had a large fan tail. One was shaped like a pigeon but ran like an aggression-stoked road runner. The other was plumed in reds and gold and walked like royalty. They were all quite comical and large. None of them were finches.

In the dream I was married to my first husband. My current husband moved in with a wife into the same building which was no longer a single family dwelling as it had been originally. They moved in next to an empty bakery. The empty bakery had midcentury, bright orange cases and equipment with chrome highlights and soft rounded edges. A swat team came one night to their home for a domestic violence call.

There were mutated animals roaming the mountains. One was a black horse who had a head on both ends. When he ran both ends ran opposite ways, running from each other. It was a struggle for this black horse to run and uncomfortable to watch. The stronger one would overpower and the other would have to run stumbling backward. It made me want to help and when I couldn't to turn away.

Then I was skydiving with my baby. The baby was my youngest daughter. Three other people all went up and skydived. The three other people may have been my daughters but then the baby came along too who was my youngest daughter. My youngest daugther was present as an adolescent and as a baby.

The skydive was like a war game. You had to start shooting immediately upon landing with darts that were blewn through straws. Of course the baby was too young for this. We were skydiving without parachutes. I landed softly but my oldest and youngest daughter landed on the concrete and were hurt but not fatally. The baby, my youngest daughter as well, landed where it was hard to reach her. She was emotionally traumatized. A doppleganger was created from her trauma. The baby and her doppelganger were glazed over and noncommunicative.

I tried to leave the war game area and became afraid as I carried the two babies because I realized I was in the United States and I could be mugged. A guy was standing in the underpass I had to pass through he was turned to the wall, hunched and smoking in the shadows. I hurried.

In the dream I knew in a subconscious way that there was a coming apocalypse. The dead animals heralded it or I held the tension in my mind that it did somehow. Known and unknown to my dreamself.

Then I was a class participant in a room in a department store which turned out to be a shower room in the same original single family dwelling where I started the dream. A Japanese woman I knew was there and so were Julie perhaps and some other people like her. Julie and her gang were not listening to the teacher who was Japanese. The Japanese woman listened. I felt Julie and her group were being rude. They were watching other people go by and talking with them. We were being taught about clothing. Which I was secretly interested in or maybe not so secretly. But somehow there was shame involved in being interested. Or I was trying to hide my interest so as not to appear to be like Julie and her friends. At any rate there was falseness on my part.

It was my Birthday. There was going to be a big deal made of it in the class. So the organizers kept putting off my turn because they hadn’t prepared everything for the Birthday to-do yet. I don't know what it was going to be my turned to do but I was frustrated that my turn was put off.

I ended on the deck of the house with the sense that life was falling apart for all who were living there. It was as if a ship were going down and the characters of the dream were running back and forth behind me trying to prepare.

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