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Expecting Different Results

7/02/11

The image or dilemma is this beer bottle that I keep placing on a coffee table.
It keeps falling over onto the tile floor and breaking. It happens in repeat. Over and Over and Over and Over and Over. I'm annoyed.
I wonder why I keep putting it there knowing damn well it's just going to fall right there and break. At one point I am telling myself that I have stopped picking up the shards. The pieces. Someone steps in them. A man I was dating but didn't want to be involved with anymore. This get's weird...

At one point (scrambled sequences) I think him and his friend are going to harm me. They feel like serial killers all of a sudden and very creepy. So i have them go outside with me and I grab the man I was with as I become fully lucid and I say you will not hurt me. I am much more powerful than you as his body becomes a limp noodle/stuffed animal/lifeless thing I am whacking repeatedly on the ground. Over and Over and Over again. Crunchy Human cracked on cement. Vanquished. Annihilated. Reminds me of Donkey Kong and how a gorilla could pick up a person by the limbs tossing him in the air, over it's head, and to the ground.

At one point this man was in bed with me. He gave me a long stemmed pinky fuschia rose. The thorns were still on. I could feel them prick me. The rose was so tight and fresh and perfect looking that it looked fake, painted, or edible like a chocolate rose. The stem was weird as it reminded me of a paper rose with a twisted tissue paper stem. It wasn't green but a darker muted color of the petals. I thought the rose was somewhat cheesy and old school of this man. I thought he must be a hopeless romantic. We were embracing in bed. Then he got disgruntled by the way my eyebrow grazed his eyebrows as I hugged him. He over over reacted and said he just couldn't stand the way I touched his hair and that his hair was going to fall out. He said he didn't want to be with me because of this. I thought it was really strange but he had bad breath anyway so I said to myself " well what does it matter, he's kinda weird and funky anyway."

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