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Deep Notes (decoding the sun and other symbols)

Night of September 4, 2015. Friday.

This will be a long entry so requires extra patience, I think. It is probably not suitable for all readers.

I originally planned to write this for a personal comparisons entry only, though a few others may find it interesting. I will mainly address two elements here; Brenda W as the occasional “stand-in” for the “mystery girl” (or “dream girl”) that turned out to represent my real wife-to-be in 1991 (and who was also sometimes of a composite character integrated with my wife-to-be before I learned she was a real person), and some connections relating to seemingly deeply spiritual metaphors and associations. I will avoid linking the references, as it would require too much reading and patience for the casual reader (and I will eventually update these notes into the entries for my dreams referenced in this entry). (Note that the “dream girl”, that is, my wife-to-be when we made real-life contact in 1991, appeared in her exact, correct form in “The Girl in Black” from April 9, 1969 - our wedding anniversary long before we were married.)

An interest partially lies in similarities between “The Day There Was No Sun” (1971) and “Day of The Blue Sun” (1990). In both dreams, Brenda is the main character, and the one last seen (and I had not seen her in reality since 1977) and a number of other well-documented and studied spiritually significant dreams feature her last (though in some cases there are later versions where the “mystery girl” takes her place). I believe that “stand-ins” are sometimes used (as a sort of “fill in the blanks” ego-based event at times) when the dreamer does not fully acknowledge the unknown character as a potentially real person, particularly if the dreamer believes that their character is “just a dream” or “too good to be true” or “too beautiful to be real” (and for many years, my “mystery girl” seemed too unlikely a person to actually exist, and thankfully I was wrong about that). This seems more obvious in “ordinary” dreams where one character typically acts or seems to be another, including as in composites, distorted or “smooth”.

The sun as a dream symbol seems to represent the highest powers of the mind or spirit within a dream (or perhaps the true self), yet also probably relates to the state of consciousness or awareness in a particular dream - that is, perhaps temporary awareness of a liminal state, depending on the nature of the in-dream sun. This certainly does not mean that darkness is always a negative concept in a dream, as you need darkness to relax, sleep, and rejuvenate. In “The Day There Was No Sun”, Earth and the sun are apart for a time until I use bottle rockets (tied down over the highway using trees and shrubs on each side) to move the entire planet back to a correct distance from the sun. Curiously, the sun changes color in this dream before the moving away from Earth near the beginning, along with very rapid and brief eclipse-like events - which may be metaphorical for going deeper into the dream state (and I even thought so when first documenting this dream at age ten). Obviously “Day of The Blue Sun” is the precognitive “gate” (that came with hundreds of other relevant dreams) that prepared me for my soulmate meeting. It even established (or at least “completed”) the conscious Blue Pearl function. I felt very happy and filled with enthusiasm at the end of both dreams. Being nearly twenty years apart, they felt somewhat linked.

“Explosion on the Sun” (1972) also seems to relate to the level of consciousness (or at least logic) by the end of my dream, as it then “decays” into total silliness even though increasing in vividness on some levels. I run from a burning field after “sparks” from an implied explosion on the sun quickly fall to Earth. In the semidarkness of the barn I eventually hide in, I listen to female cows and horses indulging in gossip. (I rarely have talking animal dreams and they were fairly sparse even as a young child). As I wake, I “recognize myself” as a small prehistoric lizard - a “mystical fossil” - and feel a sense of seemingly adult nostalgia. Although many dreams decay into total silliness (and thus the sun being “damaged” here my be incidental) the sun-as-dream-maker explosion may be related to a “denial” of potential lucidity (as my dream had a stabler presence and focus near the beginning). Something I had not fully noted in the online version was that the last scene seemed to be near the area where Brenda lived on the southern edge of the Brownville, just on the north edge of Cubitis, off the original Highway Seventeen. (Depending on what route the school bus took a particular year, I sometimes got off after her when it went south, and before her when its route continued north.)

Now moving back to the relevance of Brenda W as the “stand-in” in early childhood dreams; she was resurrected in “The Dead One” in a way that suggested ascension (as well as being loosely inspired by “Sleeping Beauty”) yet, eventually seen in town, she eluded me. She also died in “Patches” (long-recurring series) by being dragged underwater by an alligator and was later draped on her back over a tree stump, but was resurrected by three beings that were bats, butterflies, birds, elves, and fairies at different times. In “Are They Dead or Are They Alive?” I rescued her from a coffin during what seemed to be the filming of an odd television game show. In the final scene of “Bridge Over a Prehistoric World” (first version), she was the last in-dream presence and this was also my first-ever “adult” dream (though I did not identify what the nearly unbearable ecstatic sensations were at the time when we embraced).

In “The Bad Witch” (1978), Brenda in this case was actually only a small facet of the composite which was mostly of the attributes and overall appearance of my “mystery girl”, including maintaining the unusual composite emotion that I have only ever seen my wife reflect, an intriguing shyness combined with an essence of higher awareness. Even so, she was implied to have been born on a Friday the thirteenth (as my wife actually was) and eventually resolved to September (the month my wife was born). I also believe I finally decoded a rather odd aspect of this dream where the license plate comes off the front of one car and goes onto another car (as a result of her magic) as they go by on the highway. This now seems to be a fairly obvious metaphor for sending a letter, and Zsuzsanna sending me a letter was how we first made contact.

“The Tank and the Hilltop” (April 9, 1971) is also interesting, as in this dream, aside from Brenda’s father breaking the turret on my toy tank, Brenda and I later seem to be in some sort of marriage ceremony (though still as children), outside in a park, with the wind blowing and leaves falling. Zsuzsanna and I married on April 9, 1994, outside in a park, with the wind blowing and leaves falling.

Perhaps the most curious thing is that Susan R never had a “stand-in” of any kind (though there were several dreams where she was much less integrated into the “mystery girl”) - though that may be solely because she was “already real”. For whatever reason, I tended to see Susan R as a “sad soul” and I am not even sure why. She sometimes had a very subtle air of melancholy about her, though perhaps that was my emotion having bias on how I perceived her. I did not typically see other people as primarily “sad”. Some of my dreams of her probably amplified that concept, correct or not.

Working out the exact time-line (and finding the origins of certain dreams as far back as possible) and as many influences as possible (especially pop culture and literary and music influences) helps me to identify even the tiniest references and from where they came. In the long run, there does seem to be a much higher Source that seems to “plan” a person’s life (or at least the potential) well ahead of time, though of course many people never even begin to notice or maintain interest in such ideas. Obviously, there is still a degree of free will, yet some of that free will may absentmindedly be utilized in dreams or at least some dream types depending on where a person directs their attention to unfold into self-fulfilling prophecy even without the individual having a clue.

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