Night of March 3, 1969. Monday.
From the beginning, there had always seemed to be the two diverging potential paths between the (“predestined” by “God”?) “other” (Susan R) and the “tulpa-becomes-real” (actual wife) - somehow through my own will (but seemingly also predestined from birth in every detail over a lifetime), precognition, and creativity (and yet still with some sort of magnificent universal awareness and lifelong patterns and consistent “clues” and synchronicity). I am now surprised I had not yet at all included the “Fear No Evil” (1969) (also known as “Bedeviled”) connection and at least a few of the related aspects - which is a TV movie (failed pilot for a series, according to resources) from childhood and which was a larger part of the “manifestation” and ongoing sense of personal will. Only very few movies throughout my life have seemed so personal or had been quite “direct” in dream influence and manifestation at a very powerful and continuous “mythological” level, another (which I have already written a bit on) being “The Bermuda Depths” (1978).
I first saw “Fear No Evil” on TV in 1969 (March 3rd, on a Monday) at age eight. As with “The Bermuda Depths”, I had quite precise precognitive dreams prior to seeing it - in a couple cases here, the exact details of the reddish antique car accident (and its rolling down the hill) and the “person” in the mirror whereby infinity was reflected. My dreams that followed (on and off for years - even into my adult years) seemed to build on the “I will marry my dark-haired, green-eyed tulpa/imaginary Persian Romani entity and not Susan R” theme.
The main events in the movie take place during the time period of my wife’s birthday (September 13th, including the same year, which was also when I first made contact with Susan, the “other” - September 8th is when the mirror was bought according to movie dialogue).
The long-recurring dream versions were of the role reversal of the movie characters, that is, I was the living, surviving spouse and the “other” (Susan, my classmate and friend) was the one in the accident and who was replaced by the “Persian demon Rakashi” in the mirror (which is amusing, as my wife, though Romani on her father’s side, also has Persian ancestry). In the dreams, there was not always the crash of the red antique car (which was also related to the look of the 1922 red Ford Pheaton of similar dreams and involved in lifelong precognitive events). In one recurring dream over a few years, I and Susan drove it without crashing, to a large beach. (Music from Tangerine Dream’s “Kiew Mission” was almost always a “soundtrack” of these dreams; the album of which I think also contains the music track “Remote Viewing”.) Large pages from day calendars (about window-sized in the immediate foreground) were becoming somewhat bird-like in the sky and fluttered slightly and swirled, turning in spiral-like form, into the distance - becoming smaller as they moved into the horizon - which also became a design I sometimes doodled in real life during school hours as well as it having been part of several larger drawings I did.
There was sometimes a dream within the dream. My tulpa (at the bottom of the hill near the crashed red antique car where Susan was killed only in the dream) became my wife in some cases (again, and importantly, this first was a dream before the TV movie I saw was even made). What is rather curious is that the unusual, and exact altered film effect in the movie (sort of like a photographic negative in black and shadow being white, but with seemingly most of the other correct colors) - near the end - happened in real life several years later to our newer color TV (the only color TV we ever had and the only TV we had at one point - I had gone a couple years with hardly any television or movie viewing at all ages 15-17) through some sort of tube blowing out or something. We never really knew, as the person who came to fix it in real life took it away in a truck and never came back or was seen by anyone locally again, but he did say that the “chromatube” had been destroyed somehow. It was said he was likely a con man who just gathered up some televisions and radios supposedly to fix, but instead, just took off to sell them elsewhere.
I have also noted before how both my wife and Susan drew the exact same inchworm picture in a tophat design (not only identical; arms at same angles, segment number, etc, but right down to light accidental pencil slips, one with an erasure mark - and it did not at all look like any I have seen in my research - Susan drew it first in fifth grade - sometime later, I saw my tulpa at a young age looking at it on my desk and saying she would draw it as well). Most would say this was an “obvious” male sexuality symbol - but I have often seen it as “evolution” of consciousness, or a man eventually becoming potentially more tuned in to the supraconsious/butterfly or eventually “becoming a butterfly” in the spiritual sense. These two identical drawings, one by Susan, one by my wife, were apparently burned up or stolen by a religious person that used to mess around at the mailbox of where my wife lived at the time (in Maryborough, Queensland, Australia in the early 1990s). However, there would still be other photocopies of Susan’s version somewhere (have not found anyone who has one yet) and it is still possible that my wife’s mother stole them and hid them away somewhere.
What I consider extraordinary and only one of thousands of facets of proof of the so-called paranormal, is, just prior to real-life contact with my wife for the first time, I saw her exactly (correctly, with no variations in features of any kind) “inside” the mirror looking out at me and smiling (almost seeming to replace my own reflection), similar to another event in an earlier “castle” dream involving Susan and her. Another dream (just prior to the real-life realization that she was real just before we first made contact) had her emerging from the ocean, floating above the surface, and swiftly rushing to me as I stood on the shore. There is a lot more to all of this (some of which is in another, older entry: Dream Destiny, Tulpas, Miracles, Coincidences, Precognition), but eventually I will record more of the more subtle connections later on.
“What it is, truly is, is nothing you can understand yet.” (One of the quotes from the movie by Dr. David Sorell.)
In the included image, the above is from near the ending of “Fear No Evil” (1969) of this entry and below that, from near the ending of “The Black Hole” (1979). In the first image, the “infinity mirror” effect is a portal into the “evil” realm, in the second (with the flying “bride” or “angel”), is supposedly the portal to “Heaven” (which appears above the inferno/“Hell”). There is also “Prince of Darkness” (1987) where the mirror’s domain is also the realm of evil, and of course, there is the story “Alice Through the Looking Glass” where the mirror world is simply the world of strange dreams and imagination. This theme varies in many other books and films.
