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New Practice and Lost Time

Morning of April 23, 2015. Thursday.

Yet again, my subconscious "erases" over twenty years of enriching experiences in preference to going back to Loomis Street and my later youth. However, my dream did incorrectly integrate several aspects of recent events. Instead of my older sister dying recently in real life - and she did not even die while living at Loomis Street in the first place (more dream error), the time period seems to be back around 1978, as my brother-in-law looks as he did around that time. I am apparently living in the house but sleeping on the floor in the "junk room", oriented with my head to the west near the windows. However, the bathroom is actually the bathroom of our present home on W Street in Australia. At the point where I am in the bathroom, I vaguely recall my present life, just on the threshold of memory.

For some reason, I am seemingly building a new foundation of in-dream practice and focus (to deliberately enhance my dreams), which is a bit odd, as I am not lucid in any way. I have placed some blue electrician's tape on the door (about one and a half inches of it, vertically), on the right side above the door knob, exactly at eye level, and test it by going closer to make sure the tape center is precisely at my (central) eye level. This has something to do with making dreams that are more personal and vivid. At one point, I even adjust it by sliding it around on the door (almost like a magnet), which of course would not be feasible though it does not fall off. I think a bit about my brother-in-law perhaps questioning why the blue tape is there, but this does not actually occur although I do see him pass me in the small hallway. I want to make sure it remains in place. If it does not, there is the fictional concept that my dream will be less "adapted" to my desires in other dream settings. There is also something else on the door to the left of the blue tape (though near the middle of the door at the same height), but I am not exactly sure what it is. It may be metal and seems to have something to do with the function of the tape strip.

At another point, I am lying on the floor to rest. There are a lot of random objects mixed up near the blankets I am lying on, near cardboard storage boxes. I start thinking about why I did not go to my sister's funeral. It seems a bit strange and wrong that I did not go, as it seems like lost time, and seems (fictionally) related to how only a few people (mostly female relatives) went and perhaps her husband did not even go. It does not even cross my mind in-dream that I did not go due to living in Australia (especially as I am seemingly around eighteen and living in America in-dream) and how it was held very soon after her death.

After this, while "sleeping" on the floor, I become aware of large ants near my head (though actually closer to the wall) and I also notice that there are a couple large ants near my feet. I trap the ants near my feet under a Lego block. I also crush a few. None of them bite or get too close to me even though I am wary of this. From here, I slowly wake up, lying in exactly the same position as I had been in my dream and it soon dawns on me that I am with my wife as my memory slowly returns and I feel quite relieved. Waking in the exact same position of my dream body is somewhat atypical.

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