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Cosmic Dawn

Morning of April 7, 1977. Thursday.

I am in my front yard in Cubitis near the south edge of our long driveway, near the middle of its length. It seems to be early morning and I have a growing awareness that I am in a lucid dream as my perception grows clearer and I become more aware of who I really am in waking life. Oddly though, I get a vague impression that the sun is rising in the west.

There is a very healthy-looking golden pony farther south of me near the first small silver oak tree. (This is seemingly based on a previous real-life scene where a classmate had visited my father and had a similar young horse, which he tied to the tree.) It has a very long mane and tail, lighter in contrast to its body. I am aware that it may be mine, somehow. I am also aware that the pony has something to do with the name or title of "Cosmic Dawn". (I had never heard this phrase at any time in the past prior to my dream.) In some ways, it seems to be of a (personal) spiritual essence. However, when I reach out to gently touch it, it goes completely wild, acting "insane" (possibly relative to its seeming unexplainable fear of my presence), and starts to neigh loudly and unrealistically. It starts leaping, bucking, and dancing (though somewhat "stiffly", akin to an out-of-control rocking horse) in a very artificial and unrealistic manner (somewhat reminiscent of mosquito larvae), a few feet from the ground, going south down Highway Seventeen, again, in a very unrealistic nature even though the imagery and environmental depth perception is very accurate. I also get the impression of stars and the blackness of outer space penetrating portions of the morning sky (near the horizon only). The pony almost seems like a mechanism that controls the cosmos (such as the revolution of the planets and seeming movements of stars) as well as an approaching cataclysm.

This was an atypical experience regarding vividness in an increasingly lucid dream, yet almost of cartoon-like surreality prior to ending. There are probably a few potential meanings. It could relate to "raging hormones" (I was sixteen at the time). It could relate to a lost opportunity (as a horse being a method of transport to reach a destination) and could also represent the "other" (Susan R) being replaced by the "mystery girl" (wife-to-be) who rode a black horse. It could even represent my uneasiness over moving to an urban area after living in a rural area for so many years.

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