7 years ago
not everything is a symbol
Cracks and Strands

Morning of October 30, 2014. Thursday.

A young goddess appears and speaks like a younger version of my wife at one point. I am distracted from my heightened lucidity in an amusing sense although I "absorb" the typically breathtaking beauty of this state. A yellow but "human" monster stands in a doorway with a knife raised and growling. Behind him are nighttime, rain, and sparse flashes of lightning. This is a "parallel" dream, a typical scene when having two or more dreams at the exact same time. "Don't even go there," says the goddess/wife/tulpa/entity quite clearly and telepathically.

Still, I do decide to "go there" at least three times as I am still in "her" dream at the same time. It dawns on me that this scene of the human monster in the doorway is quite pathetic and non-threatening. I amusingly perceive it as a "deleted scene" from a DVD (where the monster never even appeared at any point in the movie in faux "reality") and feel a strange subtle hilarity yet almost feel sorry for this creature who never got a chance to be seen by people. Eventually, I feel the growing energy of the goddess-like presence. I go back to the first dream (of extremely heightened depth perception), which, since earliest memory, I become fascinated with the thin strands of hair and the sense of very slight, almost barely perceptible movement. But it is there. I catch it. I enjoy my ability to see the "life" there even though the movement is caused by a very soft motion of air. The "light" energies of this beauty move through me. I am not disembodied as such but feel I am floating.

In a typically skewed awareness, I believe I am looking at very small cracks in her skin, but then I realize that I am looking at slightly damp single hairs across her back. This is not a new perspective though and continues as the usual "oh that's right" moment.

The "monster in the doorway" had come from looking past her, from looking between a few strands of her hair hanging down and into the "other dream". Perhaps in the environment beyond, businessmen are running in alarm, forgetting their briefcases. I try to focus on if such a scenario is there behind her, but there is only the mirage-like "wavering" of slightly magnified and "deep" visuals.

The visuals invert and her hair becomes "hollow" and everything is "engraved" into the background (such as with the mask illusion). I first experienced this altered perception in my twenties, where a door to a house across the street seemed to invert and become very close to me, but as some sort of "tunnel". Three-dimensional inversion is a strange thing that you cannot undo with the mask illusion (although you can with the staircase effect and the cube drawn with lines and such but not so much direct at will).

Finally, I see a section of her hair invert and form what is supposedly the "human power" symbol from this other "world", almost like some sort of insignificant debris in the background. However, this "human power" symbol, which is "drawn" with "heavier lines" and looks like a raised fist, only displays two fingers; the left pinky and the left ring finger (the two fingers that were the hardest for me to mentally "rewire" as a toddler). I reason that this makes sense, because people do not really have much power or control in the "higher realms" (unless years of practice are implemented). In a way, I wonder why there would be any symbol for humanity at all in the "higher" layers - something as odd and "unnatural" as seeing a human statue inside an anthill tunnel and greeted with friendly associations, or a group of snakes welcoming people into a forest - "Sorry Mister Snake, for stepping on you" and the snake says "That's okay, come and meet my brothers so you can step on them as well". It seems "correct" to a point, though. I do a typical wall-tapping (which is some sort of composite of brick and chalkboard - something I have seen before in-dream) with all fingers in a claw-like form and meet strong solid resistance as I tap about four times...yet I do not have to walk through this wall. Instead, I turn around and walk out of the dream from the "forward opening" of my "mind's eye", which is always there.

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